We continue with our series that suggests how to avoid many pitfalls in building interpersonal relationships, whether with family, coworkers, friends, or that special someone. Committed, loving relationships do not just happen. Unfortunately there is no success secret, no checklist of things to do, and just as important things not to do to make such relationships happen. But we do have many suggestions that focus on potential problems. We center on habit, harass, and herd.
H is for habit. Don't be a creature of habit. Think outside of the box. In fact, you should make a habit of thinking outside of the box. Wait, there's something wrong here. You can certainly do better than follow that same old routine. Change things once in a while. Drive to work along a different route even if it takes a few extra minutes. Get off the bus two stops early and walk the rest of the way even when the wind is blustery. Don't make that same old pasta dish every Wednesday for supper. Change the noodles, the sauce, or perhaps even the entire meal. Try a different beer or a different wine. For years and years my parents exchanged the same Christmas gift with a family friend, home-made fruitcake and tickets to the local Playhouse. And then the truth came out, he didn't like fruitcake and they didn't like the Playhouse. I don't know what the gifts became but I do know one thing, things were never the same. But at least they all kicked the habit.
H is for harass. I don't have to tell you that harassment is a very terrible action that must never be ignored. But let's take this issue further. Skip any harassment that may not qualify as legal harassment but that you definitely know is wrong. Think about it. Would you like to be treated in such a horrendous manner? If the answer is no then just don't do it. You may possibly find that relations with this person improve. But even if they don't you can have the satisfaction of knowing that you're not a jerk. That in itself is definitely worth something.
H is for herd. Don't join the herd. You're not a cow, a sheep, or a lemming. You don't have to do just like everyone else, to be just like everyone else. Do your own thing. Wouldn't it be great if everyone followed you? Unclear on the concept. Not going to happen.
------
Levi Reiss wrote or co-authored ten computer and Internet books. He teaches computers in an Ontario French-language community college. He hopes you'll love his new English and French (with translations) love and relationships site at
www.loveamourlove.com. His global wine website
www.theworldwidewine.com features a weekly column reviewing $10 wines and new sections writing about and tasting organic and kosher wines.
