Three Ways to Embrace Mistakes as Life's Lessons
By Julie Fuimano, Personal & Career Coach
There are no mistakes in life; only lessons. What this means is that whenever something happens, there is a gem for you to learn from. If you can learn to accept mistakes, shortcomings, and unwanted events as opportunities for learning and personal growth, then you'll feel less stressed and fearful, you'll be more confident and self-assured, and your life experience will be more rewarding and fun.
If you do something incorrectly or wrong, or you do something that makes you feel bad, you may get angry with yourself. Most of us have a habit of beating ourselves up mentally over and over again. It's abusive the way we treat ourselves. The fact is that when you make a mistake, there is a lesson for you to learn. Mistakes are gifts. They offer you the opportunity to explore an area where perhaps you are deficient, need additional knowledge or training, or need to reevaluate your approach. Perhaps you were rushing. Whatever the reason, if you take the time to explore what happened, you can then learn what you need to learn to correct the situation and to put systems in place so that this same mistake does not recur.
Some people refuse to accept that they did anything wrong. It was someone else or it was the system. This is known as a victim mentality. They rationalize, deny, make excuses, justify, and blame. These people have not yet learned to accept responsibility for themselves and for their actions.
When you do something wrong or something doesn't quite work out the way you want, there are ways of managing it so that you learn the lesson, move on from it, and grow stronger in the process. By adopting these three approaches to life, you can learn to handle yourself gracefully and deepen your relationships with yourself and with others.
One: Be open to making mistakes. Just be open to being human. Each of us will do things we regret. Each of us will take a wrong turn, hurt someone's feelings, or make bad choices. Be open to making mistakes and recognize that mistakes are your birthright too. You get to make mistakes so that you can learn life's magical lessons. They hurt sometimes - a lot of the time. But if you are simply open for life's lessons, you can learn them as they come up. When you learn the lesson, you move on to other life's lessons. If you don't learn the lesson, then it will repeat itself again and again in different situations until you get it. Experience is a hard teacher. You can also learn from the mistakes of others if you are open to that learning.
Two: Be aware. In other words, look for areas of improvement. Be on the lookout for "mistakes" or ways to better yourself. Be aware of what you are doing, of how you feel, and of how you make others feel. This way of thinking is about being proactive and seeking betterment to avoid making blunders and mistakes. If you are aware of how your behaviors impact others, then you can determine whether the impact you make is the way you want to present yourself to the world. You are responsible for how you are received by others. This is an emotional intelligence competency. You must be aware of the impact your words and actions have on others. Sometimes, your words just don't land right or you say something but it is not what you meant to say. People have difficulty expressing what they really mean. By being open to receiving the lessons and by being fully aware of how you impact others, you maintain an open state of learning which allows you to constantly practice being a better person - a better you.
Three: Accept full responsibility for yourself and your life. Whatever happens, whenever you make a mistake or you are involved in a misunderstanding, take responsibility. There is always something to be learned or improved even if the other person was wrong too.
Accepting responsibility is liberating. Yes it's hard to admit you were wrong. But it demonstrates strength, courage, and a commitment to personal excellence. It's respectful. By doing so, you demonstrate that you care about yourself and the other person. There is no better way of honoring yourself than to take responsibility for your actions and your words and how they are received by others.
When you accept full responsibility for yourself, you also accept responsibility for making things right. If something was done poorly, then you can fix it. If something was misunderstood, then focus on understanding each other. When you accept responsibility, you demonstrate the highest level of respect for yourself and others. And you learn to make better choices to avoid problems, mistakes, and misunderstandings in the future.
By being open to learning life's lessons from every event, situation, and encounter; by maintaining an awareness of how you show up in relationship with others and the experience that others have of you; and by accepting complete responsibility for yourself; you empower yourself to create richer, more meaningful relationships with others and you increase the level of respect you have for yourself. You have the power to create the rich and rewarding experiences that life offers. When you are open to receive, paying attention so that you can learn the lesson, and then accept responsibility for that lesson and for making it right, you put yourself in charge of your life experience and chart your course with intention and purpose.
Julie Fuimano, MBA, BSN, RN is a Success Coach working with executives, leaders and professionals who want more happiness, more time and less stress. She is the author of "The Journey Called YOU: A Roadmap to Self-Discovery and Acceptance," the manual for effective living. Learn how to unleash the greatness within you and create a life and a career that works for you! To explore how coaching would work for you or your organization, call (610) 277-2726. Sign up for our e-newsletter or purchase your copy of the book at www.nurturingyoursuccess.com
or write to Julie@nurturingyoursuccess.com.
