Whether you like it or not, if you don't have quality relationships with other people, the quality of your own life is going to be somewhat lacking. For the majority of people, a loving and healthy relationship, will afford them greater confidence in their own lives. The support of a partner by your side in times of good and bad, helps one get through the ups and downs of life. Having someone to come home to, who will actually "listen" to the trials of the day, gives a feeling of comfortability and safety, that you just cannot get anywhere else.
Here are some helpful tips for creating successful relationships in your life.
One of the most important things that couples can do is to spend the first 30 to 60 minutes after work talking about how their day went. Many men have the habit of talking about their own days and then, having shed their burden, go off to watch the television. Meanwhile, their wife or partner, is left to deal with the children and/or prepare dinner. Beware, ignorant males, this will come back at you, in some form - and you will never know why. In order to receive the full nourishment we need in relationships, it is necessary to give more than we take.
So if you're a man, ask your wife or partner about her day, then "listen" to all the things that she has to deal with, be responsive, be supportive - before you start talking about your day. For women, don't presume that "something" interesting, good or bad, has happened. For a lot of men much of the time "something" interesting just does not happen. Men invariably consider a day at wotk, just a day at work.If you push it, he will start dragging up all the trivial stuff he's just not interested in - purely to have something to tell you. Let us be clear on this, it's not that nothing ever happens or, he doesn't want to talk about it - it is merely that he will think it is not worth talking about. But, the fact that you are asking will set his mind to remembering things and, 'hey, this might be interesting".
Often because we think we know our spouse really well, we presume to 'know' what mood they are in.This "knowing" can become a dangerous thing. Trying to read our spouses mind, or presume to "know" how our partner is feeling or thinking, often leads to a confused, if not lack of communication, and cause a great deal of stress in a relationship. Try to read our spouse's mind and then interpret and anticipate what he or she is feeling, can only end in hightened emotions, of the stressful kind. For example, we will often see an expression on our spouse's face that we think we recognize or we think we hear something in his or her voice, and then we act on what we assume he or she is thinking or feeling. But, often, these assumptions aren't reflective of what our spouse is actually feeling. In other words, we're acting on misinformation. It must be remembered that, males and females have biologically different brains. This is not to say that one is smarter than the other. Rather, our brains are wired differently, therefore, our perceptions of our experiences are different.
It is important in any relationship to be able to distinguish between fantasy and reality. Between what you actually see and hear, and what you imagine or assume you see and hear. Just because your spouse might have a frown on his or her face, don't automatically assume something is wrong. He or she might just be thinking or contemplating about something. And if you keep pushing to find out what is wrong, you will often cause an unnecessary problem. Instead of automatically assuming your spouse is angry or upset about something and then asking what he or she is angry about. Imagine how you feel when you have your arms crossed and you lips curled down. Are you upset, angry, or just lost in thought? Think about how you would feel before you start making any assumptions. Unfortunately, this is quite a common occurance in many relationships, fortunately, there is an easy get-around.
Stop "presuming" a fore-knowledge of the situation.Instead of automatically assuming your spouse is angry or upset about something and then asking what he or she is angry about. Imagine how you would feel. Are you upset, angry, or just lost in thought? Think about how you would feel before you start making any assumptions. Let it ride. If there is a real problem, you will find out soon enough.
Instead, try this: when you "think" your partner is angry, gently place your hand on their arm and softly ask "Thoughtful?"
or, just say thanks for: dinner, mowing the lawn, or something normally taken for granted that your significant other just "does".
One way or the other, this gesture will elicit a response. If things are in fact fine, this gesture shows you care. If you "are" in trouble, at least this should set events in motion and get things out in the open, rather than having them being stewed upon, making the situation worse.
Hopefully, this article has shed some light on the potholes on the road to successful relationships.
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