The good news is the divorce rate has declined. As per The Enrichment Journal the actual number for people getting married for the first time stands at roughly forty one percent.
That is a nine point drop from the fifty percent figure often cited. Still it is not too much of a reason to celebrate considering that second and third marriage divorce rates remain high; sixty percent and seventy three percent respectively.
There is also much speculation that this recession is having a dampening affect on the divorce statistics. Couples who may have been thought about annulling their marriage are finding it difficult in a tough economy to divorce simply because of the economic straits they and many others find themselves in.
Recession or not the question remains why do so many marriages fail? Obviously there is no definitive blanket answer that applies to every couple past and present but you can pretty much figure that a lot of couples said "I do" for the wrong reasons.
1. Love at First Sight
You meet someone for the first time and fall head over heels for them. Many couples have experienced this and gotten married not too long afterwards. Many of these same couples not too long afterwards found themselves in divorce court.
It's not that a happy marriage cannot come out of love at first sight; the problem is it is still no substitute for getting to know someone. And that can be a long drawn out process which does not appeal to our romantic nature.
True going that route is no guarantee of a successful marriage. But love at first sight followed by a rush toward the altar increases the chances that you are going to discover a lot more surprises (many of them unpleasant) once the honeymoon is over.
2. The Sex
You first met that special someone and the sex was terrific maybe the best the two of you have ever experienced. Will it carry you through the marriage? No. And some couples fool themselves into believing it will.
Sex is an important and fun part of a successful marriage but it cannot be the only thing or even take precedent over all the other necessary components of marriage. Sex is also a wonderful way to show love but it is not the total package of love. More than a few couples have confused the two.
3. Falling In Love With Love
Just the whole thought of the wedding and the ideal of romance has your head spinning. It feels like you are going to be on cloud nine forever.
Except that you won't. Sure you want the romance to continue throughout the marriage but to make sure it does requires hard relentless and often times very unromantic work. This reality has caused many a marriage to go downhill; and quick.
Yes the forty one percent divorce rates for first time marriages is a depressing number. Even among the fifty eight percent that stayed married you know there are a lot of unhappy relationships on that side of the ledger. Unfortunately life offers no promises of eternal love and bliss.
It has a way of testing and often times breaking couples apart. That's the way it goes. So the best thing you can do is to not give it the ammunition by getting married for the wrong reasons.
Article written by Daryl Campbell at The Relationship Tip. Thinking of tying the knot? Learn the
5 tips to make sure you stay together
