At long last! You have tied the knot and have entered marital bliss! Now you and your spouse have a new life living together as husband and wife. You now have the freedom to populate the world and add offspring to the rising number of the world's ever growing population. But wait, this requires one big question - Are you now ready to have children?
Is It Baby Time Yet? Or Is It Just Our Time Now?
Think about it - stop, look and listen to yourself. Since the beginning of you saying, "I do." The two of you are in the just getting to know one another stage. You definitely want to spend a lot of time alone together. The last thing you should want at this stage is to add a little baby into the mix. That baby would just take precious time away from the both of you in spending quality time together. Be real. That's how majority feels.
Is Your Partner Ready In Having A Baby?
This may be a not so common question in marriage, and it is often neglected, but have you and your spouse discussed having children before the two of you got married? Normally this topic should be discussed before ever committing to a marriage. What were your partner's thoughts on the matter? Did he or she ever let you know before you tied the knot that he or she was not that interested or planning to have children ever? Or was she or he a bit more ambivalent?
Maybe, just maybe, this was a topic or subject you avoided or just thought that you would resolve later. If she or he has already and strictly made clear that he or she is not that interested in children and having them, then don't expect to ever change feelings about the matter. But don't lose hope. As we age and our life circumstances change, people do often change or alter their feelings on or about parenthood.
Ask yourself how important having children is to you. For some, the thought of never having children is unbearable. If having children is really something necessary for you to feel ultimately fulfilled, then this is something that will need resolution eventually. Does this mean that you should end the relationship when your partner doesn't want any children? No. But avoiding the subject or simply hoping that he will change his mind, is most likely not the best approach.
Maybe a few years into marriage, you are stuck in a dead zone in your career. You have bought your first home and you are both locked into the current circumstances. With climbing debt you decide it isn't the right time to start a family.
After a few more years, both of your careers are good and pretty much settled one of you have already advanced up the corporate ladder, the salary is great, life is awesome and you would have even more than enough money to afford having a child. So what's the problem? You looked in a mirror and see that you're already 40 years old. You start to think that you're a bit too old to be having children. So you sit back and give a long sigh of dissatisfaction. You wished you had decided to have a child sooner than this.
