Life is complex enough, but for children living through the divorce of their parents becomes a very confusing time in their life. Life after divorce for children causes them to worry and many blame themselves for the divorce.
Many of you have probably sat down, either together or by yourself and talked with your child or children and said something like this, “Mommy and Daddy will always love you. However, we don’t love each other anymore.”
Then you think to yourself, they understand and everything is going to be okay. Far from the truth. Don’t think everything is going to be okay, kids aren’t stupid. What this really does is confuse them even more. They are trying to figure out why Mom and Dad aren’t together anymore.
Now as a single parent, you need to be on the lookout for any emotional issues with your child or children. Start monitoring their actions, their moods and keep a journal. You may see things your Ex doesn’t. And most importantly, keep the lines of communication open with your ex regarding their behavior.
Here are a list, and by-no-means a complete list of behaviors you should be on the lookout for:
*Complaining about a stomach ache, with no signs of vomiting or fever.
Unneeded crying when leaving the house or parent (referred to as separation anxiety)
*Uncontrolled temper, sudden anger outburst, biting, hitting, scratching others or themselves
*Changes in sleeping habits, eating habits
*Inappropriate language, unable to carrying on a conversation, yelling
*Poor grades, homework neglected
*Change in normal attitude or behavior
*Refuses to say “I love you” or stops giving you a hello or goodnight kiss
*Social withdrawal, loses interest in activities (music, sports, clubs, etc.)
*Neglects their pet and stops taking care of it
If you observe any of these behaviors, seek intervention, get help for your child or children and get a handle on the problem. This is something that you cannot do alone. Children will avoid expressing their feelings to their parents. They need someone else to talk to other than you. The best thing you can do for your child and yourself is to get some type of outside professional help.
Kevin Kullander is a successful single parent of two wonderful daughters. He offers single parenting advice and tips at http://www.singleparentsuccessfuldad.com.
