Unhealthy relationships are like chronic diseases in that they tend to go on for a very long time. But if you are unhappy in a relationship, there are three options, but before we consider them, let us look more closely at why these things happen. If you are hesitant about initiating a break up, it may be because you have made a commitment .
Let us look at the easiest option. It is so easy that you do not have to do anything! That is right – thousands of couples just stay in unhealthy relationships for years on end and never do anything about it. While this is the easiest option, it is often the worst one because it may be impossible to turn the whole relationship round when the time comes to save it or when you want to escape from it.
Let us look at the second option and this is where you have decided to take action because unhealthy relationships cause endless misery and unhappiness. You have had enough so you have opted for action. Easier said than done, of course. You are on a repair mission and this is going to need some clear thinking . You will need an understanding partner or at least a partner who is willing to move from his or her fortress and come down the rocky slope to meet you on the way up!If you can persuade your partner that you are doing the repair job together then just think of the rewards because you are laying the foundations for a very stable relationship which will last for ever! This option is impossible to carry out solo so make sure you have your partner onboard before you even try. This is a tandem so no lone cyclists in this lane!
Unhealthy relationships are like diseases so sooner or later, the relationship will die. This is the third option where you decide to break up and move on before you both go crazy. It is a bit like euthanasia. This is the point where you cannot bear any longer the arguments, recriminations, accusations, fighting, screaming and corrosive silences. The suffering you are going through now will probably be matched by more suffering on facing loneliness but loneliness will be an acute condition rather than a chronic disease.
You may need help to decide which option to choose and you may need counselling. Counselling can help you with how to repair things in a relationship or if there are mental obstacles, they can help with that too.
To sum up then, unhealthy relationships can be tolerated, repaired or terminated. It is quite simple but deciding will be difficult and you will need all the support you can get so make sure that your supportive friends are recruited to help you.
You need a SYSTEM which you will find in the
Magic Of Making Up .
Check out the
relationship rescue blog for more advice.
