Being single is hard. And let’s face it, being single is only hard because dating is so hard! Though it may be easy to meet people, it’s really difficult to meet the kind of people you want to go on a first date with. It’s even harder to find people you want to go on a second date with.
Once we do find a prospective date, then we have to contend with all the anxieties and frustrations of making a good impression and avoiding all the opportunities to make a mistake or social error. If they say dating is a game, shouldn’t there be some rules to follow?
Unfortunately, since dating isn’t an exact science, there aren’t any rules set in stone. However, there are some well established guidelines you should follow to avoid potential dating disaster.
First, control anxiety. Everyone’s nervous on first dates; sometimes even second or third dates. Understanding that your date may be nervous too can help ease your own anxiety a bit. Before going on the date try to find out as much as you can about your
dating partner. Knowing their likes, hobbies, and interests will definitely help spur conversation and show that you are interested in them. Also, find out what things they don’t like so you’ll know what to stay away from. Information like this can also help give you an early sense of your compatibility level with your date. Being able to relate to your date using this type of information can also build your confidence and help put you and your date at ease. Remember that dating is an excuse to relax and enjoy the company of another. Keep your focus on your date’s comfort and you will find yourself worrying less about your own discomfort.
Second, plan ahead. If you have the opportunity, connect with your date several times over the phone or by email before the date. This is a great way to build rapport and get information about what interests your date, or puts them off. Use this information to design the dating environment in a way that will be entertaining, stimulating, and encourage a high level of comfort between your date and yourself. Internet matchmakers are a great tool here. They usually provide a great deal of profile information as well as opportunities to connect with a prospect well before the actual date.
Finally, put your best side on display. Remember your manners and be on your best behavior. This might seem like common sense, but many people have trouble in this area when in a dating situation. Turn cell phones off, if you can. If not, excuse yourself to take the call, be brief, and then apologize for the interruption. Gestures like these go a long way toward reassuring your date that they are your primary focus. Stay positive, even if you make a mistake. Often, making a mistake can be an opportunity to show humor, grace, or self-confidence in the way you recover from it. Always reconnect with your date after the event. Even if the date was not a great one, let the other person know you appreciated their time and company. And, if the date wasn’t good, let the person know in a gentle way that it didn’t work out but you appreciated them anyway. Above all, enjoy yourself.
