Is public speaking your worst fear? It certainly is mine! I’m also afraid of heights and spiders but if there was one thing that made my stomach turn for days on end…that would be public speaking.
I can recall my first encounter of this fear in primary school, when we reached the point that we had to make speeches in front of the class. The first year I had no idea I even had this fear until the teacher told us we had two weeks to write a speech on any topic and would need to speak in front of the class for three minutes. I am not kidding when I say I lost sleep over the next two weeks and my stomach had the most horrible feeling ever experienced whenever I thought about it. When it finally came to the day of my speech, I didn’t listen to a thing anyone was saying in theirs…I was working myself up into a frenzy of nerves thinking about my turn. I remember getting up in front of the class and my entire body was shaking so much no one could understand a thing I was saying and my legs and hands were trembling like crazy! Nobody laughed, nobody teased me but I knew it was a disaster! So the next year…I was doomed from the start in my own mind. As soon as speeches came around again all I could think about was the last experience and this made it so much worse. Every year from then on I dreaded that subject but I will say I slowly got better, with time my nerves were slightly under control and people could actually understand what I was saying…but the rest of my body wouldn’t stop shaking.
So what is this all about? I was a reasonably popular and well liked kid in school, even high school so what was the problem? In my head I was telling myself no one really cares what I have to say..it’s just another subject! And I know that no one is going to tease me if I screw up or laugh at me but in the back of my mind I knew that every year no matter what I told myself, I would shake uncontrollably and this is what made me freak out each time! I eventually discovered that if I didn’t have time to think about it I wouldn’t be as afraid and I wouldn’t tremble as much, so I would try to be the first or second person speaking. I realized that it’s my mind which is the problem, if I let my mind go there…the fear multiplies rapidly.
After I left school, I didn’t go to University…perhaps partly due to this fear. I know what my passion and dream is and it requires some form of speaking in front of people so I have tended to shy away from pursuing it. And I have found since I no longer have to get up to speak, the fear has creeped back into my mind and it still terrifies me to this day. But I have come to a point in my life where I have decided I can’t continue shying away from a dream because something scares me. What kind of life would I lead if I look back in regret? I have recently joined a community of like-minded people all pursuing their dreams and they don’t let anything stop them. I am slowly addressing my fear and in a reasonably closed environment where people are only there to encourage you to open up and overcome things like this. We each have our own issues to address so we all support each other through to reach our goals.
So recently I got to a point where I felt like I broke through a barrier. Over the last couple of months I have been bringing myself to speak out on our team phonecalls, which consist of 20 – 30 people listening in. I sit in front of my computer and no one can see me but I’m bright red, shaking and my voice is quivering but all I receive are positive comments after each time. So I have been consistently making sure I have something to say…even if it’s small because each small step is bringing me closer to overcoming my fear. Last week I was at a conference of 200 or so people and when they asked people to come up on stage to speak I bolted out of my seat and didn’t even let fear sink in, amazingly this was optional to get up too! I was in the first 10 people to line up for the stage and as I’m standing in line, I am having a moment of total liberation where I realize how much I have grown since joining this community. People got up on stage and some were just as nervous as I was and we all clapped and cheered for them and the feeling was amazing. Ironically the person right in front of me was the last chosen to get up on stage so I was let off the hook…but I felt disappointed? Even better!!
Are you someone who shares this fear with me? Do you have dreams you are not willing to compromise on? Even if it means addressing something which scares the living daylights out of you? I have to say when I first joined I didn’t really think I would have the guts to come as far as I have but the support has pushed me through. I am still working on this fear but mark my words, it won’t stop me from achieving my dream! If you are interested in hearing more about this community and working towards making your dreams come true, please visit my website below and perhaps we can speak about how we may be able to help you.
Tanya Joines
www.discoverandsucceed.com
