If you are ever in a situation where you need to persuade or influence somebody, then this article is for you. I'll show you some quick and easy steps to influence friends, strangers, or even your boss. And this is so sneaky that they'll never know what hit them.
First, you need to get rapport. Rapport is that feeling you get when you feel comfortable with somebody. Like if you are traveling in China, and bump into somebody that went to your high school for example. You'd feel a special connection with this person.
To do this, you simply match everything you can about the person you are going to persuade. Body language, speech patterns, posture, everything.
Second, you need to elicit their criteria. What is important to them. Go as deep as you can by asking what is important about what is important. Like if they say they like watching baseball, you can ask what they like most about it. You are looking for vague words like relaxation, peace, friendship. Make sure not to put words in their mouth. Remember their exact words, and remember exactly how they said them.
Next, you need to figure out to show them that by doing what you want, they will achieve their criteria. If their criteria is to feel satisfied, and you want them to hire you (if this is a job interview,) then you can explain how the last person who hired you felt really satisfied when they realized what a great worker you are.
It's best to elicit three or four words that you could use as leverage, and spread them out throughout your conversation. Also, try and describe whatever it is you want them to do in different terminology, so they don't think you are hitting them over the head with an agenda or anything.
Also it can be helpful when linking their criteria to your outcome, to use a story from the past where somebody just like them did what you want them to, and felt or experienced the feeling or emotion they want to experience. It's much easier that way to slip it under their radar, so you won't get caught.
That is basic persuasion in a nutshell. Rapport, criteria, and link their criteria to your outcome. Of course, when you first start this it can seem extremely strange and difficult. That's ok, because the more you practice this, the more persuasive you'll naturally become. These aren't the droids you're looking for.
