Being able to persuade and influence people is a powerful skill to have. You can make more money, get more dates, and be more effective in your daily life. Because you are reading this article, you'll soon be persuading others like a Jedi.
To start off, you want to develop rapport. Rapport is that feeling you get when you feel really connected to somebody. Like you've known this person all your life. Maybe if you've seen somebody you thought was a stranger, and then they turned out to be an old friend from third grade, you know what I'm talking about.
This is actually pretty easy to do. Salespeople do it all the time. Just match the physical behavior of your target as closely as possible. Body language, how they are sitting or standing, how fast they talk, even the words they use. If they cross their legs, you do the same. This works great while sitting in a meeting at work.
After you've established your connection in their world, it's time to get their criteria, or trance words. These are the words that are beneath the answers they usually give about what's important to them. What's important about going to Hawaii? I want to relax with my family. What's important about relaxing with your family? We really improve our relationships. What's important about that? We can share our lives. Of course, pepper these questions over the conversation. Don't rapid fire them like a police interrogation on Law and Order.
Next is to show them that by doing what you want, (your intention or your outcome,) they will achieve their criteria. If their criteria is "sharing with family," you can show them how buying your product can improve their family relationships.
It's a good idea to think of three or four ways to word or describe your outcome, so they don't think something is fishy. Slowly link up their criteria to your different descriptions of your outcome throughout the conversation.
One great method of doing this is to tell stories. Think of a story where somebody (who's just like the person you are talking to) was able to fulfill their criteria by doing what it is you want them to do. Like your uncle was thinking about buying a Jeep (if you sell Jeeps, for example) and his family really liked it, and they spent lots of extra time together because they went on camping trips more often.
So there it is, in three easy steps. Create rapport, elicit criteria, and connect their criteria to your outcome. It will seem clunky and unnatural at first, but the more you do this, the better you'll get.
