No worry came to me as I retraced my footsteps. There was music in the air and I was a part of it.Life was meant for rejoicing, not for suffering. Focus on suffering and that’s what you get — more suffering. Be alive all your life,strange as that sounds, and you find that planet Earth can be a lovely adventure. So many years I had spent worrying about money, illness, family and everything else, that I’d lost sight of some of the more important aspects of life — joy, peace,quiet and understanding.
Creeping over me was a growing feeling of embarrassment for knowing so much and doing so little. I, who had learned such valuable lessons about life from Gideon, how could I not have put that learning to practical use? However, self-recrimination is as dangerous as chronic depression.It creates guilt,and guilt is perhaps one of the deadliest enemies of humankind. Guilt’s only message to us is,“You don’t deserve, you don’t deserve.” Feeling guilty about the past places limitations on us and prevents us from freely receiving good things in life today.
Yes, I did feel somewhat guilty for not practicing what I preached.It is said that someone once asked Socrates why he had done a seemingly stupid thing and he answered that it seemed to make sense at the time. Whatever it is that we did in the past, we did because it made sense at the time. From the vantage point of the present, it may appear extremely foolish, but the aim is to learn from our mistakes and proceed with life, resolving to do better next time. One of our biggest mistakes is to feel unworthy.
It seemed as if the walk home would last forever. There was no hurry as I enjoyed the exhilaration of the moment. There was peace in my heart, and I knew, as I never knew before, the joy of just being. The sound of footsteps behind me caused me to turn. Approaching was my old friend Gideon wearing a smile as wide as the horizon.
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