Ending Your Internal Conflict

If you read personal growth or self-help books at all, including
mine, you've been taught to identify what you want to have.
You've been instructed to focus your intention on what you want
because what you think about is what it drawn to you. This idea
was best expressed by the late Earl Nightingale who said "You
Mind Moves in the Direction of Your Currently Dominant
Thoughts." This is an idea that can be traced back thousands of
years and appears on every writing on religion, spirituality or
philosophy. The Bible says, "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is
he."

You want to hold your attention on what you want to create in your
life, since this is what you want to attract. There is, however,
tremendous value in looking at the other side of this equation, for
it is in contrast that we find clarity. One of the blocks to having
what we want in our lives and businesses is the internal
resistance that is present and operating behind the scenes. For
example, let's supposing that you want to double your current
level of business. I can hear some people right now gasping at
the thought of that however, it occurs all the time. This is one of
the strategy's I use when coaching business clients who want
quantum growth.

Here's the problem, you think "I want to double my business in
the next twelve months." While you're focusing on this lofty goal,
there is in the back of your mind, all kinds of resistance to this
idea. Your internal critic is chattering away telling you how difficult
it will be and, even if it were possible, which it's not, you would
have to work twice as hard and that's not something you want to
do. The results here are conflicting and you are probably not
even aware of it.

Fortunately, there is a fairly simple solution to this dilemma.
Begin your goal setting by first, identifying what you do not want.
I'm not suggestion for a second that you dwell on what you don't
want in your life. That will draw it to you. Just that you devote
some time and energy surface everything you don't want. In our
business doubling example, you may have things like "I don't
want more work, added overhead, more debt, I don't want to
have to hire more people, and I don't want to work longer, and on
and on." By doing this, you've cleared the way for the next most
important step, what you do want. Once your clear as to what you
do not want with regard to your goal or project, you can begin to
list what you do want to have and experience. Again, in our
business doubling example, this might include such things as "I
want to double our business in the next 12 months. I want it to
happen with ease and joy. I want to be able to do it with our
present staff and budgets. I want it to be exciting and
pleasurable for everyone. I want to be fun and have this occur
effortlessly. I want to add more value to our clients. I want to
explore new markets and create new ways to reach them."

By first allowing your fears and resistances to become known to
you, you've cleared the way to have more of what you do want.

Note: Once you've identified what you don't want, don't keep
going back to it. As a matter of fact, you might want to take your
"don't want" list and burn it. Now devote all of your time, energy,
resources and attention and thoughts to what you do want.

Jim Donovan is the author of "Reclaiming Your Life" and "This is
Your Life, Not a Dress Rehearsal," an inspirational speaker and
professional business coach. More information and a free copy
of his newsletter, Jim's Jems, is available at
www.jimdonovan.com.

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