Circling Up!
(c) 2000
Julie Jordan Scott
Sitting in a coffee shop sipping lattes and smoothies, my friend
Jocelyn and her husband, Mark, were talking to me about their
current situation. It was by no means rosy, in fact, the picture
being painted was quite grim.
We started to discuss solutions. Mark and Jocelyn exchanged
knowing looks before Jocelyn started speaking. As their coach, I
was mindmapping the discussion, to see if I could get any further
delineation by literally drawing or doodling as they spoke their
words. Jocelyn was explaining how she would get close to clarity,
and live towards fulfillment or solution but would discover after
a few weeks that somewhere along the line she had fallen off
track. She never really noticed she was heading in that direction
until she was pretty far removed. I noted the quality of her
voice getting more and more childlike until she closed her
dissertation with, "I don't know".
I looked at my mindmap, and I had drawn a circle with an arrow
pointing downward with the words "I don't know" in the middle.
"How often do you do that, Jocelyn?"
She looked blankly at me, "How often do I do........?"
I responded, "Speak in circles and end in `I don't know'. Did you
notice you did that? Mark, did you notice?" Mark looked at me
wide eyed. He and Jocelyn exchanged awakened glances.
Jocelyn spoke, "Wow. I do that. A lot!"
William James, Psychologist and Professor made a similar
observation. "Most people live, whether physically, intellectually
or morally, in a very restricted circle of their potential being."
From my perspective, people paint their circles pointing downward
by capping sentences with declarations like Jocelyn's unconscious
use of "I don't know". Unfortunately, each time she tells herself
"I don't know" her subconscious mind hears and believes that
Jocelyn does NOT know.
Her circle of belief and intention continues the downward spiral.
However, as Jocelyn's friend and coach, I know that she DOES in
fact KNOW!
To solve the automaticity of Jocelyn' nagative circling, we created
a system with wide applications. As in anything, the first step
towards change is awareness. Jocelyn was now aware that she
spoke in downward sloping circles, especially by ending them
with "I don't know."
Together, the three of us devised a strategy. Each time Jocelyn
said "I don't know" she would replace it with either, "I will find the
answer to this question" or "I already have the resources and the
knowledge to find the solution". In addition, during the week they
would think of other positive replacement phrases instead of the
ubiquitous "I don't know".
Mark's job included to lovingly cue Jocelyn whenever she stated,
"I don't know". Her chronic use of it made her completely aware
at times that she even said it, so she needed his assistance.
As a couple, they wanted to make best possible use of their
powerful subconscious, both collectively as a couple and individually.
William James continues his earlier quote in this way: "People
make very small use of their possible consciousness, and of their
soul's resources in general, much like a man who, out of his whole
bodily organism, should get into a habit of using and moving only
his little finger." Using only your little finger you could not
speak,
walk, eat or reach out to others.
Jocelyn stated working out all of her muscles, not simply her little
finger, when she became aware of her unconscious habit. My taking
action and making positive changes, she was flexing and using
more and more of her available resources.
Choose today to make your circle spiral upwards towards your
next level. Stay alert and awake to the possibilities. Frank Dane
was obviously speaking of upward spiraling in his quote "Blessed
is he who talks in circles, for he shall become a big wheel" Become
the big wheel!
****
Julie Jordan Scott is a Certified Life Purpose Coach who works
with action oriented, creative people who are ready to live each
moment
with passion. Dare to Discover Your Passion, Decide to live YOUR
Destiny! Explore opportunities at
http://www.5passions.com/coachingoffer.htmlor contact Julie via email: mailto:
julie@... or call
661.325.4116
