You Will Always Be a Teenage Mom
By Angela Giles Klocke

One thing I have learned since becoming an adult (by terms of law,
age 18 or 21 depending on where you live) is that no matter how old I
get, I will always be a teenage mom. It doesn't matter that I am no
longer supposed to be in high school or that I don't know anyone now
that I knew then. When the issue arises, I am a teenage mom, plain
and simple.

Being called a teenage mom when you are pushing twenty-five is not an
insult to me. But to many moms, it is. Gina* is almost thirty now but
because she had her daughter when she was sixteen, no one lets her
forget it. Her daughter, Sandy*, is now almost the same age as Gina
was and to her, it seems everyone is nudging her with advice --
"Gina, you're a teenage mom. You know what to look for now."

"While I appreciate people wanting to help me keep Sandy from
becoming a teen mom, too, I think it's high time they realize I am a
grown woman and not a teenage mom," Gina says.

Others agree. They've been called a teenage mom all through their
teen years. That was enough. They aren't ashamed of who they were but
would rather get past the stigma that comes with being a teen mom.

"It's not that I don't want anyone to know about me," Patty*, mother
of three comments. "I just think it should be my business to tell
people rather than have others point behind my back to tell their
friends 'she's a teenage mom'. I'm twenty-seven. I'm not a teenager."

While I agree that it is nothing to be ashamed of, I understand where
these other moms are coming from. It's hard to be treated different
just because of what happened many years ago. For myself, it has been
almost ten years since my son was born, but no one lets it go. Mental
math is done a mile a minute when anyone finds out my age compared to
my son's age. No one bats an eyelash over my five-year-old, however.
A child of that age at my own age doesn't seem abnormal, even though
technically, I was still a teenager when I had him.

Teenage motherhood is a fact of life that no one seems to accept yet.
It has also been around for longer than anyone thinks. Our
grandparents used to get married as early as fourteen and have
children right after. But sometime during the last century, someone
turned teen pregnancy into a bad situation. I'm not advocating that
we should all become teen parents just because our ancestors did it
but I am saying that once it's done, it's done. There's no going back
once the baby is conceived so why should any teen mom have to deal
with attitudes that are less than helpful. We need assistance, not
cold shoulders.

"So I'll always be called a teenage mom, huh?" asks Terry*, age
seventeen and mom to one. "Well, that's okay either way because I
take care of my child better than most 'adults'. Let them call me
one. I'll take it as a compliment."

My thoughts exactly.


* Names have been changed by request.


BIO:
Angela is the founder of the new Helping Hand web site, One Young
Parent (http://www.oneyoungparent.com), where young parents can
receive assistance, or those wishing to help young parents can offer
a hand. From mentoring to donations, articles to advice, One Young
Parent is set to be the ultimate site for teen/young parents.


Contact: mailto:agklocke@...

Angela Giles Klocke
Publisher of The Writing Parent, KaZoodles,
The Writing Child, In Udder Words and More!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Coming Soon!
Join me this summer as I publicly journal my way
through writing, publishing and parenting.
http://www.thewritingparent.com/diary.html

To say "Someday when I have the time" translates into
"It's not a priority for me." ~ Unknown