How We Match and Why v A Modern Dating Theory


Match? Match I hear you cry, is there such a thing? It makes it all sound
like a game of Snap. Well yes I think there is such a thing. Who do we match
with? I think the first issue is to know who we are and what we are about.
Once we know this then we can work out who we can possibly match with. That
innocent comment is where a lot of people fall down. I am often surprised
how little people take a good look at themselves. You may feel that you
perfectly suit Brad Pitt or Pamela Anderson but then do you really know much
about them?

Sure we often want to match ourselves with people of certain look and
physical properties and that is entirely natural. However if we weigh 300
lbs and have never seen the inside of a gym then I think its fair to say
that we may not be the perfect match to a sportsman or a model. Why? Well
simply because nature tells us that we match with likes. On a base level we
are here, says nature, to procreate and so we select accordingly.

That of course on its own would be too shallow a premise to write this
article but the first element of any match is physical compatibility.
Matching with someone on a purely physical level is not enough to last. Sex
is a part of any relationship to some degree so looks do matter, even if to
a small extent. After all you must be able to wake up next to that person
for months or years to come, and you must want to be able to make love to
them in some form, even if its simply kissing. I often here some people say
that appearance is not important to them and I am always impressed. What
they really mean is that looks are not important as along as you like the
look of that person already. Looks are only ever important if you do not!

Many relationships fail where sex is missing or unsatisfactory, where
physical contact in many forms is lost. When that occurs the foundations of
a relationship can be rocked so we must say that appearance and therefore
physicality in any match is an important factor. The first thing you may
look at when you meet someone may be their eyes, smile, teeth, hair,
handshake, kiss and physique etc. They are all physical attributes.

The other problem about matching physically is that we may not truly know
how physically attracted we are until much further into a relationship we
are. It may be sometime before physical intimacy is shared and sexual
contact occurs. Therefore an emotional, even love, match may have already
developed further. But we do try matching with people, look at fashion. The
way we dress and the way we appear in daily life speaks volumes about who we
are. Maybe money is tight and we don