When I coach my clients on how to get more business and more money, I'm delighted when I see that they spend time creating and building relationships with prospects. This is truly the best way to serve those that we work with.
However, I see many of these entrepreneurs overlooking a very important quality of this relationship. As in all relationships, we benefit most when we constantly look for ways that we can grow and change. In business, this is a must (especially when it comes to the prospect relationship); otherwise, we are out of business.
The key lies with negotiation.
To often we bend, let our boundaries be waved, and go in a direction that we KNOW does not best serve ourselves, our businesses, or our lives. (Maybe dramatic, but true. All actions affect others.) Why do we do this? Often it’s fear that if we don’t, we will be left with nothing or worse—rejected; or even worse—there might be conflict! Or sometimes we simply lack clarity;
what do we really want for our business? Whatever it might be for you; doors open wide when you are able to embrace negotiation as a friend, rather than something to avoid at all costs.
I invite you to open your mind to embrace all of the moments in your business when negotiation would make a difference. Yes, when signing on a client, but what about when working with a strategic partner? A vendor? An assistant? It’s constant. You can begin to effect magical negotiation right away:
Know What You Want and What It’s Worth to You
Start by writing down your intentions. Divide your intentions into three categories:
Need: what you must get out of the negotiation or you cannot continue, e.g., you must be paid for your service.
Want: can be accepted (but not without getting something in return), e.g. flexibility with scheduling.
Would be nice: this isn’t necessary, you’d be willing to let it go, but it would be great if you didn’t have to, e.g. your web assistant keeps track of your stats for you.
Look at where the other person is coming from and create this same list for what you imagine happening on “the other side.”
Empathy over Sympathy
Sales guru Zig Ziglar describes sympathy as seeing someone getting sick over the railing of a boat and you jump right in, and start vomiting with them; empathy, on the other hand, let’s you feel for them, but maintain your distance so you are in a position to help. You’re powerful, not crippled.
So, definitely take an interest in the person or persons with whom you are negotiating. We are all people. Business is about relationships. A divergence in needs does not make someone a “bad person.” It’s simply a difference.
Really listen to their side and point of view. Be sure to share your intentions—out loud. :)
Empathize with them and yourself. Clearly state you are looking for a win-win situation in which each side comes away from the process having gotten something out of it. Entering a negotiation with the attitude that you must dominate and conquer the other side is counterproductive, especially when we are talking about a long-term business relationship.
If you begin to sympathize (being sucked over to the railing) with your needs or theirs, then you are more likely to become emotional in a way that is harmful, not helpful.
Be Open to Compromise
Expect and adapt to change during the meeting. Continually check in on your “Needs” and “Wants,” and look for creative solutions to areas of conflict or disagreement. The point is about an equally favorable result.
When an agreement has been met (the ultimate goal, right?), in terms of business, it’s best to place the agreed-upon terms in writing. This way, everyone shows he or she is willing to be truly committed. It’s about respect for your business’ worth.
A true negotiation is always about win-win. Not win-lose.
