Tim Tam Explosions!

Ladies, there is an exquisite sensory experience which awaits us all, which far exceeds anything the body has revelled in before, a sensation so unique that it cannot be exceeded by anything a mortal man or woman could do for us..... yes, ladies, its' the Tim Tam Explosion.


It will exceed your wildest expectations, but sadly, like so many other treats, just one is never enough... and, to be frank, it's not great for your summer bikini figure either but you've got to try it at least once in your lifetime.

* Make sure you are not wearing a white or pale top. Or anything that needs expensive dry cleaning, for that matter. A binbag with a hole in it placed over the head might be wise.
* Make a nice hot cup of tea.
* You will also need a packet of Tim Tams, (an Oz delicacy). If you live in the UK a packet of penguin biscuits will work admirably well. Get two packets in if you have an addictive personality.
* Unwrap the biscuit completely.
* Ensure you are not being watched by someone whose good opinion you garner.
* Now take a small bite from one corner, then bite off the corner that is diametrically opposed to it.
* Dunk one bitten off corner in the hot tea, then suck up the tea using the biscuit as a straw.
* The minute you feel the tea hit your mouth, ram the whole biscuit in it as quickly as possible (speed is of the essence, as biscuit collapse is imminent at this point).
* Wriggle with forbidden choclatey pleasure for about thirty seconds, then repeat ad nausea.
* WARNING: You can never go back to life as it was before.