You’ve got the ring on your finger, you’ve told both your parents your fantastic news, and now… you’ve begun to wonder about who you’d like to have stand up with you on your big day. You have some names in mind, and are fairly certain you’ll call or ask your friends in person if they’ll be your bridesmaids, but what about the friend you’re considering as maid of honor?
Accepting a position as maid of honor is a huge responsibility for someone, but it’s also an enormous honor. It means the bride treasures that woman as a close friend and a supportive shoulder – and for the maid of honor herself, it also means shelling out money for a shower as well as the bridesmaid dress, jewelry and shoes. And as wonderful as it is to be chosen as a maid of honor, considering the amount of responsibility that you’re about to place on your friend’s shoulders, it would be an absolute thrill if you asked her in a special way – just to emphasize how much you love and appreciate her.
Try setting up a lunch or coffee date with your friend, and plan on paying for her portion of the bill (but don’t tell her ahead of time). As easy as it might be to just pick up the phone and ask, something like asking about a maid of honor position is much more meaningful and polite when done in person. Also, make sure you ask your potential maid of honor if she’ll accept the position before asking any other bridesmaids – that way, you’ll avoid any possible hurt feelings over someone being ‘promoted’ over another if you friend happens to decline the position.
At your lunch or coffee date, you could present your friend with a handmade card asking her to be your maid of honor. Include a funny poem or story about the two of you, and have the question come at the end! If she’s more of a sentimental person, you might buy her a single flower instead, and attach a note to the stem reading “this flower is one of many that symbolize just how much you mean to me, and I’d be honored if you would stand next to me and hold the rest of them in my upcoming wedding as my maid of honor!”.
If you have a little more time and patience, you could also create a memory scrapbook of your times together over the years, including pictures, phrases, and embellished stories of the great times you spent with each other. If you have ticket stubs from movies or receipts from shopping trips together lying around, include those too! It will take a little extra time and forethought, but your friend will be absolutely floored at your thoughtfulness and realization of just how much she means to you.
For a friend that lives far away, make up a cute card and mail it to her! And be sure to include a phone number and times when you’ll be available so that she can call you with her answer!
