"I don't do relationships...but we can still hang out if you like"

"I don't want a relationship...so if you still want to hang out that's great, but if not that's cool too"

There is no reason to lie, spin, or redirect the topic. You just lay it out simply and clearly. You are not being crude. Everyone knows that no-relationship implies something casual, so there is no reason to spell it out. It only becomes a problem if that person reacts badly and starts getting defensive. In this case you cut your losses and move on. They accept your frame and there is no room for discussion. Therefore there is no room for further debate on her saying:

- "I'm not easy you know"

- "I don't want a relationship either, but I should tell you I don't sleep with guys on the first date"

These might seem like reasonable objections but they are not. Accepting them or trying to compromise means that you are not firm in your beliefs and that makes you weak. Simply cut your losses and move on. It is obvious that person wants the upper hand. People all over are meeting and interacting with no agenda whatsoever, so there is no reason to feel that you are doing anything wrong. So stick to your guns and stick with those people who fit in with your plans. You will be much happier because of it.

Copyright © 2007 Vittorio Norman