We all have an inner voice that stirs deep within that makes us all ponder the question “Isn’t there some sort of gauge we can use to figure things out?” although I personally believe there are as many answers to that question as there are possibilities in life –the bottom line is always found in balance –not in the extreme. Pushing the envelope will only get you hurt in the long run because boundaries are necessary for us to establish our comfort levels as well as to recognize our need for self-control –hence the “balance” in the ever evolving life equation. If and when we fail to come to an agreement with that discipline –we find our selves often over indulging our fear based issues in order to avoid facing the root of our feelings around topics that we are too frightened to allow to surface –that is the other side of the coin called “extreme”
So, the easiest route to take is the one that demystifies the complexities involved with putting our demons to rest! If we use the four Rs of Success however, we can begin to move forward and rid ourselves of the burdens of our circumstance –or past events that continue to haunt us today. So lets get started with the first “R” so that you can begin to understand how this process works. The number one thing to understand is “Recognition” you must first begin by recognizing for your self what the problems are that are leading –if not feeding your discontent. You have to know what it is you are dealing with in order to come to terms with the culmination or flow of events that have channeled themselves into your life because of the actions you participate and negotiate around in your present defect and conflict.
Next you must immediately put an end to your finger-pointing- fault-blaming patterns and begin to take full “Responsibility” for your life and the decisions you have made during the time you have been on the path of adulthood. If all of us tried hard enough we could each find a way to lay blame for where we’ve ended up in live on anyone else other than ourselves! The truth is however –if you where there you were a part of it and you must own up to that no matter what. If nothing else you need to acknowledge the fact that you chose to involve yourself in a certain practice or attached yourself to an abusive or domineering partner and although there may be no need to hold yourself responsible for their behavior –it may be wise to recognize the lack of worth you may have been carrying with you about yourself that lead to your attracting that type of person into your life to begin with. Perhaps it is quite fair to say that had you felt better about your self you would not have settled for a person or situation like that. Taking responsibility for that fact is another way to let go and move on.
The third step to recovery is to “Release” your attachment to the events that are otherwise holding you back from discovering your true potential and intrinsic value! Release the blame, the shame the regrets the grief –just let it all go. If you have been hurt by it you have experienced it and you can move on now. You no longer have to hold yourself hostage in the bitter warfare of your past. You have proven yourself to be a survivor simply by the mere fact that you are still here! That in and of its self is truly profound. You are already past “The victim” stage if you are out of the situation. If you even desire or intend to overcome your circumstances then you are in “The survivor” phase of the storm. The next phase is the ultimate phase –it is the role of “The thriver” and that is what you are on your way to becoming every time you release the past and move forward into the next chapter of your life.
Last but not least there is the “Resolve” factor in the finalization of our desired outcome. This is where the true sense of peace and perseverance begin to shine through. The fact that this word carries with it such distinct meanings is really powerful. Here is where we can resolve ourselves to our hope in order to conquer and defeat the odds. We can also find resolve in accepting the mistakes of days gone by and reward our psyche with a stronger mindset –free of judgment and ridicule. Here we can embrace the wisdom we have gained and the insights we have come to recognize for our own truths and beliefs. Here is where the past ends and the future begins! I like that idea most of all…how about you?
