Why Brides Cry

Seriously, it might intrigue you to learn that just as many grooms also become "moist" (males don't cry, do we?) when I perform one of my services at their wedding. Why am I seeing all these tears?

Your marriage is one of the most important moments in your lives together. When you peer deeply into the eyes of your beloved, when you place a fragrant lei around your beloved's neck, when you slip that wedding ring on your lover's finger -- all sorts of feelings should correctly well up inside your heart. You want to savor the memories, allowing your favorite memories with each other remind you of all the reasons why you are now holding hands, committing yourselves to each other for a lifetime of love.

It is my position as a Minister to remind you why you're here. My officiant words don't create your emotions, they simply place your attention on your lover and all that he (or she) means to you. That often creates some emotional moments. And there is nothing wrong with letting that emotion flow a little bit. Because it wouldn't be there if your relationship hadn't grown. True relationships are based upon good commitments. If you both know that you can trust each other, it is so much more likely that you will have a marriage that lasts a lifetime. Isn't that what we all desire? Susan and I have been married for over 35 years, and it hasn't always been easy. But making (and remaking) our commitment to each other is a large part to staying together.

I like to purposely prolong the ending pronouncement. I am fully aware the couple is hanging on my words at this moment. I am fully aware they're eagerly anticipating the pronouncement and the kiss, so I take my time, almost as if I have forgotten why we're here. On more than one occasion I've had an anxious bride blurt out, "Oh, come oooon, you're killing me!"

And when I do finally make that pronouncement -- always with a strong powerful voice -- the couple has an exhilarating sense of release. And they will likely always remember the moment when they stopped being two single individuals and became a real "couple". Isn't that worth the wait?