Balanced life…is that an oxymoron? Life is just
that…LIFE! You never know what's going to come
your way, but as a business owner, spouse, parent,
friend, etc. you must attempt to find that
balance.
Running your own business can take a toll on you
if you aren't careful. I like to call it between
a rock and a hard place. Why? Answer this
question…what's more important -- the kids that
want attention or that 5 o'clock deadline for a
client? Toughie, isn't it? That balance is what
I couldn't find and it almost cost me everything.
How to find balance
Set limits
For me, I run a part-time Virtual Assistant (VA)
business in addition to a full time career. I
decided that I wanted to work no more than fifteen
hours a week. Then I scheduled that time on a
calendar I created specifically to make sure that
I was staying on target. I also decided that I
needed time off. Therefore, I set aside Friday
nights. I don't work on Friday night, period. If
the kids are with their dad, then I spend time
with my boyfriend, and on the Fridays that I have
kids, its pizza and a movie night. I now look
forward to Friday nights where as before I dreaded
them immensely.
Prioritize
What can you give up? I have problems with the
word "no". If I'm asked to join something, I
join; if I'm asked to do something, I do it. It
doesn't matter if I know I don't have the time or
not! I went through the "extra curricular"
activities that I had and deleted them from my
schedule. There were two local organizations that
I didn't particularly enjoy but felt that I needed
to attend their meetings and felt guilty when I
couldn't. I determined that I wasn't getting
anything out of going and that attending the
meetings were more of a hassle than they were
worth, and freed up some time.
Do you have clients that aren't "meshing" with
your ultimate goal? My very first client had work
that needed to be done during the week.
Everything was honkey dory until something
unexpected came up and then I would have to
scramble to either do it myself, or find someone
else to help me at the last minute. I finally had
to re-evaluate the situation. I was able to find
another VA that could take on his work, and there
was a HUGE part of me that was sorry that I had to
do that, but another part of me felt like the
weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders.
Household Chores
If your family is anything like mine, they believe
that mom will do it and take care of it - I
allowed it to happen. If I was particularly busy
with work things, it didn't get done and no one
seemed to care. I CARED!! I didn't want to live
in a pigsty, and I wanted clean clothes, and
dishes in the cupboard instead of having to wash
something in order to use it! DELEGATE!! Your
children can help! Your spouse can help!
Amazing concept, isn't it?
With my family, I sat them down and explained the
situation to them: "I enjoy my business and the
money that I receive is for us. I can't do it
alone, so I can either give up my business and the
vacation, remodeling, and so on that it will pay
for; or, you all can pitch in and help around
here." I can tell you that none of them were
happy about this, but they realized that I wasn't
just doing this for me.
Make it fun for your kids to help! I gave my kids
checklists of things to do every morning before
school and every evening before playing. As a
reward, if they help me out with some of the
chores, they get some of my time in the evening.
(I'd give it to them anyway, but this way, they
feel like they are allowing me to have some free
time with them. They feel good about helping me.)
Put a set cleaning schedule into place. I'm not a
great housekeeper. I went online to find
suggestions, advice, ANYTHING that would keep me
on track. I found FlyLady (www.flylady.net) and
Organized Home (www.organizedhome.com). Neither
of them worked perfectly for me, but I was
able to take some of their ideas and make them
work for me. I gotta tell ya, FlyLady's biggest
challenge is to "go shine your sink" and I've
accepted the challenge, and I now LOVE walking
into my kitchen!
Dinners
Darn kids…I just fed them yesterday and they're
hungry again today! Every day, from 5:00pm to
5:30pm I would spend my entire drive trying to
figure out what I was going to make for dinner.
We need easy meals, and most of ours came from a
box. They are okay for awhile, but then….
GET A CROCK POT! My boyfriend got me an awesome
crock-pot for Christmas. It's what I asked for.
I used it all of twice and used the frozen
crock-pot meals. I then had an epiphany! What if
I planned my meals a week in advance and shopped
for what I needed, and made them in the crock-pot?
(I'm a slow learner, I know!) So, I went online
and found recipes that I was pretty sure the kids
would eat and that were easy to throw together. I
made my list and went shopping. The first night I
made a crock-pot meal, we walked in the door (I
had set the table when I came home for lunch) and
ate! What a concept! No whining about being
hungry and the question "when's dinner?" for 30
minutes while I try to prepare!
Something else I've recently implemented is having
the kids cook one night a week. You may laugh,
but those PB&Js are the best meals, because I
don't have to make them!!
"Me time"
As a full-time employee, girlfriend, mother,
friend, and business owner, I rarely got "me
time". For a long time, I saw my VA work my "me
time" as it was work that I truly enjoyed.
However, work is still work. It wasn't relaxing,
and many nights kept me up until after midnight.
There was a time that I read in the evening before
I went to bed, or watched TV. I finally realized
that I wasn't taking care of myself. I was
"managing" everything else except me.
I started reading again, and I scheduled reading
time. I now read almost every night. I treated
myself to a manicure and pedicure and decided that
I was going to do that at least once a month. I
also joined an online class through Barnes and
Noble University. The only cost for the class is
the book. The class itself is free. I love to
learn, so this suits me just fine. I'm taking a
forensic science class, and I love it. Some
nights, that's my reading time.
For once, I'm taking care of me, and doing things
for me and it feels great!
It takes time….
We still have some kinks to work out in the
system, and things still come up out of nowhere
and throw us all off, but we regroup and get it
all back together. Are there some weeks that I'm
working more than 15 hours? Sure! But I make
sure that all the things I need and want to get
done are done first. I'm not going to pass up
that extra money unless I can realistically fit it
in.
Am I fully balanced? No, and I never will be.
However, in one month's time, everyone at my house
seems to be happier. No one person or thing is
being overlooked, or if it is, it's not for very
long. The house is cleaner, we're eating better,
and we're spending more time together. I still
have everything that I want and I've really not
given up anything that I can't live without.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heather Jacobson is the owner of Valley Virtual
Assistants. She obtained her BS in Business
Management from Radford University and has over 12
years of administrative and marketing experience
across multiple industries. Heather resides in
Roanoke, VA with her two children, Matthew and
Samara.
