Relationship before and after marriage is not the same. It needs more commitment and a deeper level of understanding what relationship really meant.
What does relationship really mean to you?
Is it just being together as boy-girl friend and we are one couple?
Or is it being aware of what is going on each other’s life and wanting to be a part of it?
Or is it being able to sacrifice oneself for the other party even if dying is part of it?
Just before marriage, holding on to this relationship is my first priority. Making the wedidng works has been my focus for the whole of last year.
It is not easy to hold a wedding. Organising a wedding include communication and understanding of each other. It meant putting ourselves in each other’s shoes too.
I have already mentioned in the past that marriage is not just between two people, but between two families, two futures, two past, two presence.
What do I mean?
Marrying two families together means respecting families’ beliefs, values, practices…no matter how weird or unfamiliar it seemed to be.
Marrying the past meant marying the child of the adult. We all cope and behave how we found it effective when we were young. Some adults still suckle their thumbs in private if it gives them the security as and when she was a child or baby.
All of us have our fears and anxiety as what we had experienced as a child. Some, even living in the present, still experience such discomfort, just like she was a child again.
Marrying the presence means being here and now. It means setting aside time for each other, going for an annual vacation no matter where it is or doing something fun together.
Marrying the future means marrying the dreams and aspirations of two individuals. Yes, there is marriage but do you give up what you had always wanted to do.
As for me, I do my best to support my wife in her aspiration, be it from learning how to drive to eventually be the best designer that she can be.
Right now, I am coming up with a Marriage book. I am getting really excited and I have found another author who is willing to partner with me. So do keep a look-out.
