I have just came back from a seminar.
The trainer shared about a research done in 1994 by a group of psychologists on 100 pairs of newly wed couples.
Each pair had a private room each and they were told to behave normally. They were each observed for 10 minutes.
The psychologists had to finished a questionaire stating the number of priases and put-downs give to each other.
10 years later, the psychologists followed up with this group of couples.
To their suprise, 94% of the couples were either separated or divorced. The couples who experienced marital breakdown were those who gave more put downs than praises.
This research showed that praises are very important elements for a successful and happy marriage.
I feel all of us want to be praised. We want to be praised for the effort we have put in, no matter how insignificant they are.
We all need praises. So do our spouses.
What you can do right now to improve your relationship:
1. When your husband grumbles about how tired he is after a day of hard work, praise him for the effort he has put in to work hard and provide for the family. And tell him that the family appreciates him alot.
2. When your wife cooks and it may not be that tasty, praise her for the time spent in cooking and in buying of the cooking ingredients.
3. When your husband plans a day to bring the family to somewhere you may dislike, praise him for making time for the family.
4. When your wife sounds disheartened by the pressure faced at work, praise her for the strength that she had to pull her through this far.
5. When your husband expresses his discomfort in the presence of his mother-in-law, praise him for his willingness to share his feelings with you.
There are many more incidents that we can praise our spouses. Look at their strengths and the positive aspects of what they had done.
With praises every day, your marriage life will be elevated to a higher level.
So, start now by praising your spouse for sitting next to you or near you and keeping you accompany.
