Persuasion; is it a gut feeling or factual understanding?
You’re at a friend’s house party and Billy is wowing the group with his magic and mind reading demonstrations.
“How does he do that?” is what everyone is asking.
Now Billy is definitely what we would call an “entertainer”, yet there is more to his ability than just his personality!
You see, Billy is a scientist of sorts. Through observation, study and practice he has developed an understanding of people’s behaviors, thinking and joined that with scientific data.
Kevin Hogan gave us a couple of examples to test our “gut” reactions, here are some:
It takes 367 people in a room to guarantee two people will have the same birthday. How many to have a 50/50 chance? 187?
As parents we have the most influence on how our children will turn out? Yes?
So what is the right answer and how does this help us persuade, influence and sell? …..
So, is persuasion a gut feeling type of skill or is it more scientific than that?
Billy is able to read the group and individuals and determine who is most receptive. He has most likely developed the ability to distract or misdirect your attention while he does something else.
He also understands that by engaging the group in a positive way he drops their resistance and skepticism and draws them in to the trick with an open mind.
Billy is doing the ultimate in multitasking! He is reading the group, most likely misdirecting, keeping them engaged and applying science all at the same time!
With this Billy has you convinced he has some special power or ability! You and your friends go “wow” and ponder how this can be! This must be some Jedi mind trick!
Wow, does this seem complicated or what!
Not really, once more we tend to make things more complicated than they should be. We also tend to go with our “gut” rather than thinking through the factual information that is present.
As a salesperson or a manger have you ever “assumed” you understood what someone else wanted or understood? Later on when things were not going as planned you discover either you or they were on a different planet and talking a different language?
The challenge is to suspended or suppress our natural “gut” feeling and turn on the listening and observing antenna. What is really happening, being said or being done?
You see, Billy knows that it takes 367 people in a room to absolutely guarantee two people will have the same birthday, but you do not need 187 people, you only need 23 people to have a 50/50 chance of two birthdays on the same day! (Ask your local mathematical statistician.)
Billy has 40 people at the party, he has a better than 50% chance!
One other thing that Billy understands is how people think and how their brain process information. Most of the information we take in is simply categorized and stored, not really processed! Yet this influences how we see and understand things!
So Billy understands how he can “prime” your thinking. (The 187 was a prime, how many of you thought it might be the right answer?”)
By placing thoughts or ideas into others minds early in a conversation, you can many times influence how they now see or reference the idea. Because we only store most information it now begins to change our perception of what we are seeing or hearing. We are going by our “gut” and figure it must be right. Is it?
Let’s go to Las Vegas with our gut feeling. What are our chances of hitting it big because our “gut” tells us so? Reality is, most consistently big winners use statistical information, invest most of their time reading and observing others and lose more times than they win!
It is not that we completely throw out our “gut” feeling, rather, do we understand where that feeling is coming from or based on. It is then we can make a more rational judgment than an erroneous one.
Billy also knows that this “gut” feeling is what we want to believe. We become emotionally attached to these “gut” feelings because they create our perception of the world around us, right or wrong.
So as a parent of three and grandfather of seven I know in my gut that I am one of the most influential aspects of the kid’s development! Right!
But I am their parent, I influence them, changed their diapers, teach them everything they know!
Let’s apply reality to this gut perception. Let’s say that time spent with a child or around a child is the measure of influence. In any given 24 hours of a child's life, how many hours are you engaged with them or in observation distance? How about the day care, teachers, coaches, TV or their peers? What percentage of their time are you really the influence?
For most of us the percentage is probably lower than we might like. Yet we might be telling ourselves we have the greatest influence.
As we interact with others we need to be cognizant of their perceptions, behaviors and beliefs. It is then that we can minimize the “gut” reactions or planning and become more influential on purpose.
Billy is not psychic, he is an excellent observer and has invested time and effort in gaining understanding of how we think and act. This gives him the edge that causes us to see him differently.
You and I can do the same thing if we examine the “gut” feelings and what their source is. How much is a perception and how much is factual? By doing this we can tune into others more effectively and have a greater influence on them.
To truly be persuasive we need to gain as much understanding of others as we can. In this way we can talk in terms of their reality, not ours, yet be addressing the factual.
You can discover more of these skills and understandings by investing your time in the Leadership Strategies for a Competitive Edge program. It’s based on many proven persuasion tools that are not taught elsewhere.
So, keep the eyes, ears and mind open, you’ll get farther!
To your continued success!
www.busarconline.com www.thesellinggap.com
Harlan Goerger
National Training Director
© Harlan Goerger 6/2007
