Most women over 35 are fearful of having a baby because they view the common misconceptions as truth. My goal is to ease their fears by dispelling the myths with facts. Let's look at two popular myths.
MYTH : Mothers over 35 do not have the energy to attend to the needs of a baby.
FACT: I always laugh when I hear this one. Show me a mother under or over 35 who doesn't feel overwhelmed at times especially doing the first year of motherhood and I'll show you a mother who's in denial. Or she has a slew of servants.
The average newborn cries more than any new mom ever anticipates. The average newborn sleeps from 15 minutes to 2 hours before waking up for feeding.
Translation: The best scenario with the best baby. Mom gets to bed at 11:00 p.m. She is awaken at midnight by the sweet whimper of her newborn. She is awakened at 2 a.m by the sweet whimper of her newborn. She is awaken at 4 a.m. by the crying of her newborn. Baby does not want to go back to sleep until 5a.m. You tell me what woman whether she is 25, 35, or 45 wouldn't feel zapped after getting out of bed several times at night to feed or just to hold and comfort her crying baby?
The truth is taking care of a baby is hard work and does require lots of energy. It's important to eat healthy and, every now and then, to allow people you trust to watch your little one for an hour or two while you take a break.
MYTH : It is unfair to a child to have older parents. Children will become orphans or have to take care of older parents, etc.
FACT: What is unfair is for a child to be raised in an unloving environment. I've talked with many adults who were raised by parents who neglected them. Fortunately, a grandparent filled the void with lots of love and care. I've never heard any of these adults complain or make reference to their grandparents' age.
I do believe that all parents, young and old, should have a plan in case they become disabled or suffer a long-term sickness. This will alleviate some of the burden for their children.
Interestingly, studies show current older mothers are better educated, more stable and displayed more patience and other qualities that were beneficial to the development of a child. Combined with love a child soars in this environment.
Perhaps, the best response to this myth can be found in an article written a few years ago, the May/June 2002 issue of AARP Modern Maturity magazine.
In this article Richard Paulson, M.D. chief of reproductive endocrinology and infertility at the University of Southern California School of Medicine says the orphan issue is overblown and points to former patient who in 1996, at age 63 became the oldest woman in the world to give birth.
At the time of the article the former patient was 69 and her daughter was five. Both were healthy, though the former patient was receiving help with childcare. Guess who was helping her? Her 90 year old mother!
