Men are not Complex
by Judith Tramayne-Barth
The majority of men are not complex. If they are fed, have clean
clothes and you appreciate their jokes with a little extra
sexiness tossed in, they are happy campers.
It's us women who make relationships difficult. We need to
lighten up and simply let them be who they are. I love the scene
in "Two Weeks Notice" where George and his Chauffeur are talking
over a game of chess and the Chauffeur says, "women want to talk
and talk until they suck the lifeblood out of you." Makes me
laugh because it is so true.
Men don't like to just sit and discuss relationship issues. They
are active beings (unless you have a couch potato). The only way
you can get a man to communicate his feelings is if you work along
side them on a project or do some kind of sporting event with
them. This is their comfort zone. Then they will open up or not
depending on their mood.
So use this to your advantage. Got a window, door, drawer or
whatever which needs fixing and you don't want to do it (even
though you could) -- mention it to the man in your life and then
be their grunt or gofer. While they are fixing it and you are
going for tools, etc. start talking about the fun things you've
done in your life together.
Continue to do this throughout a month's time. Once your man is
comfortable with you as a working partner, you can then start
bringing up what you feel you need to be happier together. He'll
be much more open to your ideas -- in fact, he might surprise you
and even have some of his own.
If he doesn't open up, it's no big deal either. Some men just
won't but that doesn't mean they don't care. These men show their
love for you in small ways. Your car gets greased, your oil gets
changed, or they shovel the snow off the driveway in 20 degree or
below weather.
Frankly, if you want to discuss relationships, or things that
really matter to you -- start talking with woman. Women are more
complex, more interesting and pretty soon you won't even notice if
the man in your life talks or not.
Simply be appreciative of what he does have to offer and go about
building your own life to suit you. He probably already has and
is enjoying every uncomplex moment of it.
______________
Judith Tramayne-Barth's site is
http://www.agoodread.com which has
free books, articles and link pages you'll love. She also writes
excellent "how-to" books for her Art & Book Club patrons.
