The years of babies, bottles and boo-boos have passed, and you look over at your child and begin to wonder, “who are you and what have you done with my child?” If that sounds at all familiar to you, perhaps I should then welcome you into the teen years, and also forewarn you to hold onto your hat because you‘re in for what could be a very bumpy ride.
Entering into the teen years with your children can be an exciting and adventurous time, but it can also be fraught with confusion, anxiety and stress. For each parent who swears that their teens transition into adulthood was as smooth as silk, there are an equal number of parents who’ll swear that their teen is the devil incarnate.
Unseen and bewildering changes are taking place within your child, whether immediately apparent or not, and your role and responsibilities as parent becomes even more important than that of changing multitudes of diapers or kissing scraped knees and elbows. While some parents may have very negative views of the teen years, it is a time of great opportunity for parents to help their growing children become the person they are meant to be.
Opinions on parenting teens vary widely amongst even the most renown “parenting experts”, with published books and internet sites loaded with well-meaning parenting advice on dealing with what is often called the “tumultuous teen years”.
Simply doing a general online search for “surviving the teenage years” provides parents all variances of opinion on what works, and what does not, regarding parenting and dealing with teen issues. With so much information coming from so many sources, how do parents determine which advice to follow and which to toss aside?
When Does It Start?
Exactly when the angst-filled teen years actually begin is also debatable, but my experience of raising six children was that it begins right around the time children enter middle school. Summer break ends and children start school, sometimes with a new set of peers, and arrive home later that day talking and acting like someone you don’t recognize anymore. Suddenly they’re grooming themselves differently, trying new Ahem…hairstyles and dressing differently than you’ve ever seen before, all in an effort to feel accepted amongst their peers and wanting to “fit in“.
Last time I checked, there has yet to be published a parenting manual that would work perfectly with every family dynamic. Each family has their own value system, moral compass and beliefs, which requires parents to use sound judgment when deciding what expert advice to follow in regards to parenting their children and teens.
What might work well for one family may not work for the next, or there may be other influences such as religious beliefs to consider. Regardless of where the advice comes from, parents must stick together as a united team in deciding upon and implementing discipline, rules of the home, curfews, etc.
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Teenage Rebellion
Teens have always found ways to rebel, for one reason or another, and today’s teens are more “in your face” than in previous generations. More than ever before, teens are pushing limits and boundaries set by their parents, going so far as to publicly disrespect, physically abuse and even kill their parents. Teens are quickly rejecting values and ideals set forth by their parents, opting to follow newfound beliefs based on what they see in movies or television, music and Websites.
When my children were growing up, I did not allow them to watch even cartoon-type shows where children were verbally or physically disrespectful towards parents, using foul language or disgusting hand gestures. Nowadays, parents not only allow their children to watch endless hours of unsupervised television each day, but parents have somehow found it funny to watch such shows with their children sitting beside them. Then they’re somehow surprised when their children begin acting out what they’ve seen or heard.
Alvaro Castillo has been writing about health and specializing pregnancy along with how to deal with the first year of their baby’s life for 10 years, helping women with positive results. For more information check out his website at http://www.myhomeparent.com or visit his blog http://myhomeparent.blogspot.com to share your opinion
