The emotions that actors are asked to display at the drop of a hat by his director are a marvel of control and skill and throughly enjoyable to watch and appreciate. I love to see them become mad, loving, playful or crazy knowing the control each of them has. I don't think I could do that, especially the crying.
How about your emotions? Do you have control over them? Or do they have control over you? That would be going down a wrong way street if they are controlling you. When you become a divorced parent, this is a very important area to tighten up because it drastically affects your children.
Here are a few test scenarios to see what is in control in your life, you, or your emotions. Just write in the answer - either ME or MY EMOTIONS.
1. I'm driving down the highway with the kids (who are arguing) and an old lady pulls in front of me without signaling and then drives under the speed limit.
2. I've just left work and have to pick up groceries in a hurry so I can make it to the Pre-School before 6 pm when an Asian lady cuts in front of me in line with her basket.
3. I have to get the boys to their soccer playoff game for the season. If I'm driving up to an intersection where there is a stop light for a train crossing and all the lights flash red just as I get there.
4. My boss hasn't spoken to me at work for over three days. She walks by my desk several times a day but it's like I'm not even there.
5. I don't want anyone to think that I'm doing a lousy job as a single parent, so I force myself to clean the house every weekend. It leaves me frazzled and without any alone time for me.
If you knew exactly what you'd be feeling in each of the five scenarios above, good for you. You've already got a good handle on this, so you can go get yourself a latté. If the majority of your marks said My Emotions, read on.
One of the blessings of a great marriage is that both the husband and the wife learn a lot from each other. But because Life Itself is a learning experience, and now you don't have your mate to learn from, you're going to have to be both the Bride and the Groom in your life. If you've got runaway emotions, your Bride has to be bridled, and your Groom has to be groomed!
Get a grip. When you find yourself running helter skelter into emotion land, pull up on the reins and tell yourself "Whoa there girl! Let's put a little bit of logic to work and stop these raging emotions." And that's when you get to use one of your most wonderful virtues, the virtue of reason. Reasoning, or thinking through challenges using logic or facts, is the universal cure for rampaging emotions.
There are at least two sensible ways to exercise your ability to reason: take a class at your local Junior College; find a friend who already uses reason and model yourself after him. It's entirely possible to develop this skill and control so that your children are benefited from their very best example - you - if you will exercise some authority over your emotions!
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Len Stauffenger's parents taught him life's simple wisdom. As a divorced dad, he wanted to share that simple wisdom with his girls. "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents," his book, is the solution. Len is an author, a Success Coach and an Attorney.
http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com
