An old saying – ‘marriages are made in heaven’, but I think ‘we can bring heaven in marriage life’. Marriage is such a chocolate that bachelor wants to eat and married wants to vomit. It’s a play of dreams, everyone expects a life time partner who can satisfy his physical and psychological needs. There is nothing new in this subject but there is much difference in practically living with it. This marry-go-round rotates around the expectations and its fulfillment. In the whole world there are two types of marriages, love marriage and arrange marriage. Many believe the marriages are successful when they are arranged. Love marriages fail mostly. But I don’t think so. How marriage is made is not important, important is that how will you cope up it life time. I am writing this article with my own experience.
Formula of Expect-Respect:
You are own architect of your married life. Your married life is game of your thoughts. Thoughts works like magnet. The type of thoughts you are germinating the incidents you will attracts in your married life. Solution is simple when problem is well known. And the solution is how to watch the thoughts? How to count? How to segregate positive-negative? How to turn them? How to bend them? How to break negatives? How to generate and seed positives? How to implement in your married life? How to measure its effect on the married life?
I don’t want to go more theoretically, let’s start practically. Make your mind calmer by techniques of thought watching and counting. How? – Take your free time, Sit relax in comfortable position, close your eyes, put your all body weight on your sittings, take 10 deep breathes leave them, be with your breathing for a minute, now your mind is in Alfa state (Alfa state: very concentrated but relax position of mind, thoughts give maximum effects in Alfa state) and start thinking about your married life. See what kinds of first thought coming in your mind. Mind always thinks about burning issue. Mark it as first count, leave it. Then wait for second thought, repeat the procedure. Try to remember the subjects, persons, incidents, things you are thinking about. After half an hour open your eyes slowly, stretch your body. Take a diary and note down your thoughts as per count. New in start, you may not remember all the counted thoughts, don’t worry, you can do it after some days practice. After seven days read your diary. I am sure after reading you will get shocked!
You will come to know that your thoughts are only about your direct and indirect expectations. Then, ask and listen your partner’s expectations about you. And the truth is that your partner also expects the same from you. First thing first: accept your partner as he/she is. Take an initiative with positive thoughts to fulfill your partner’s expectation. You will get surprised! Your partner will start doing like you. Be alert, when negatives thought comes, break it with your keyword (key word may be any word you like. Example: delete, cancel, cut it, etc). Start making diary of positive thoughts. Make a habit of chanting them 1000 times in a day but in a mind. After a serious practice, you will come to surprise that your partner is more attentive to you with affection. Now it is your roll in action, start respecting your partner’s thoughts, likes, suggestions and decisions. Automatically your partner will start doing the same for you. This is the magic of your positive thoughts.
In short the formula is giving such a treatment to your partner which you expect from your partner. Only obstacle in this formula is your germinated negative thoughts. You can make a victory on it by above technique with practice.
My very best suggestion to you “Don’t marry with the person you love, marry with who loves you”. And make your marriage earthly paradise.
