When parents decide that they need to speak directly with a teacher or coach about a situation with their child, they should prepare to have a win-win conversation. Keep in mind that everyone may have different perceptions about a situation. Each person sees only one piece of a larger picture so it is important to first understand what your child thinks, then anticipate the teacher's or coach's point of view.

To put yourself in a teacher's or coach's shoes before a conversation about your child, you can ask yourself the following:

What do I think motivates the teacher or coach? For instance, is it test scores or wins? Is it concern for each child's development, or simply making it through the day or practice with a bunch of kids who are hard to manage?

What pressure is the teacher or coach under? For instance, are they concerned about their jobs because of low test scores or a losing season? Are they concerned about how they look to their peers and others? Do they have a difficult situation happening in their personal life?

What is the teacher's or coach's communication style? For instance, is the style different or similar to yours?

What values do you share with the teacher or coach? For instance, do you both have a basic value around helping children achieve their full potential? Do you have the same belief about discipline and motivation?

Your answers to these questions will help you more fully understand a teacher or coach before a conversation and have a discussion that is constructive for your child.


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Learn how Michael Cerreto, Applied Performance Counselor, and A Talented Mind, Inc. can help you or someone you know: http://www.atalentedmind.com