The title of the very first lesson in Michelle Farias' book, 25 WAYS TO KEEP YOUR CHILD HEALTHY AND SUCCESSFUL - Lessons from a School Counselor, sums up her 20 years of work. It is the cornerstone to her work as explained in her book as well as on her website: www.ParentOnPurpose.com.

Today, Michelle and her husband Tom provide counseling on their website and through tele-seminars as well as other products aimed at helping individuals to be the best they can be.

Back to Maintaining a Healthy Relationship with your child. Seems uncomplicated, but it's not very easy to do. Farias stresses several of the basics, and reminds us of the critical role we have in our children's lives, the nurturing of who they are and will become as adults, and the children's ultimate success not only in school but in life. And she comes at this from the unique vantage point of an experienced school counselor, who has observed and worked with children in one of their primary settings - school.

Ms. Farias begins by reaffirming for us that as parents, we are extremely influential in our child's life. This is a responsibility that cannot be brushed aside, and it's imperative that we acknowledge that it does take a considerable amount of time and energy - as it should. For many of us in today's world, considering the hectic schedule, demanding jobs, commuting, and countless commitments, just finding time is a big responsibility, but it is absolutely critical. Kids see the world through our eyes, at least for a time, and so we have the opportunity to help them explore a world in which they learn how to trust and feel secure.

Michelle also stresses the importance of instilling trust in your children at a young age. By being present with them both physically and emotionally, being dependable in our own behavior, by being available to them when they might need help, and by providing validation, they learn to trust that others around them can be relied upon when needed.

We are our children's introduction to the world, so by instilling confidence in them, by being in good relationships with them, we share the skills and self-assurance to extend themselves to others and be in other mature relationships.

Without that foundation of trust, children learn early on that the world is an unsafe place, they don't seek the support of others such as teachers who could help them in reaching their goals, and they have more difficulty in forming friendships and spousal relationships as they get older.

Visit BlendedFamilyExperts.com to learn more about Michelle Farias


Yvonne Kelly, MSW, RSW, is a Featured Coach with www.Blended-Families.com. Sign up for their free step families parenting advice newsletter. WEBMASTERS: Use of this article requires a link to remain intact.