I personally think that one of the biggest causes of fear when it comes to situations with women is:
Putting too much importance on what the woman thinks of you and what happens in that particular situation.
To put it in different words, most guys don't take action because they're afraid that they'll screw up, or that the woman or others around will judge them.
The real problem though is that this whole process has become automatic, and it happens instantly the moment most guys see a woman that they'd like to meet. Before they even have a chance to think about the situation rationally, they've become nervous, insecure, and upset.
I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about.
As humans, we have these incredible minds and bodies, but sometimes they get wired up in ways that aren't exactly useful for the situations that we find ourselves in. Worse, sometimes our cultures, families, or peer groups teach us ways of thinking that just aren't useful at all for what we'd like to accomplish.
Here's something that I realized a few years ago when I was learning for myself how to be successful with women...
I thought about this idea that I was having this instant, automatic fear in different
situations with women, and that what I was really thinking was "I don't want to screw this up" and "I don't want her to think that I'm a dork"...
And all of a sudden something dawned on me:
It doesn’t matter.
It doesn't matter what happens, and it doesn't matter what she thinks of me.
I realized that the fears I was experiencing were more from programming than from reality.
So, I started to remind myself as often as possible that the fear wasn't happening because there was any kind of danger... and that my objective in a particular situation wasn't to have it turn out perfect, it was to learn.
