when most people find themselves in this predicament they attempt to rekindle the flame by increasing their romanticism, but more often than not these romantic efforts result in driving their partner further away! You see, before you can embark on any romantic endeavors there are three factors to consider!
You wake up one day and your relationship is shattered, and most of the passion that existed between you and your partner is gone! Your partner has distanced him self from you and your relationship seems to resemble one of roommates rather than lovers!
Has the passion and intimacy disappeared from your relationship? Has your partner completely withdrawn, or has intimacy become more of a chore than a passion for him? Have you lost interest in your partner or the attraction that you once had? Maybe intimacy has always been difficult for you or your partner, but recently it has seemed to progressively worsen. Issues of intimacy are usually caused by one of the three following criteria;
1. Physical appearance is suffering because of low self esteem
2. Emotional needs are going unmet
3. Underlying fears and insecurities are preventing a close intimate relationship
Physical Appearance Suffering at the Hands of Low Self Esteem
Have you been suffering from a low self esteem? Has this created a lack of interest in taking care of your self? Have you gained a considerable amount of weight? Have you failed to eat a nutritious diet and to exercise on a regular basis? It is very difficult to take care of the things that are most important if you don't love your self 100%. And, what you may not realize is that you must first love yourself before you can love anyone else! You see, physical attraction is part of intimacy, but it goes much deeper than that. If you are suffering from low self esteem and have let your appearance slip, not only are you missing the physical attraction, but you are also failing to meet your partner's emotional needs as well! He wants a confident partner, one that walks with Feminine Grace! Therefore, before you can even think about attracting him back, you must learn how to walk with feminine grace. This will take a bit of self discovery in uncovering the culprits responsible for your low self esteem.
Unmet emotional needs
What emotional needs have gone unmet in your relationship? You can not expect to have a great intimate relationship with your partner when there are needs that are being ignored and unfulfilled. Often these needs are emotional and have very little to do with sexual fulfillment. Sexual fulfillment is usually a result of first satisfying ones emotional needs. Unfortunately, your intimate relationship will always bear the brunt of everything else that is failing in the relationship. If you want to reconnect with your partner, don't look to complain about or fix the intimacy issue, search for the emotional needs that have been left out in the cold! Have you made your partner feel like a man? Have you shown him a confident woman that can make her dreams come true, express love unconditionally, and gracefully articulate her needs?
Fears and insecurities
Both men and women have difficulties with intimacy when there are hidden fears and insecurities that prevents them from establishing a close bond, or a long lasting relationship. These fears and insecurities are intimacy destroyers since they undermine the basic emotional connection between partners. Frequently, these fears and insecurities cause jealousy, control and withdrawal, all of which undermine the very foundation of your partner's emotional needs. So, the Key to re-igniting the flame is not to embark on a mission of romanticism, but rather to restore the unmet emotional needs. Fix the root of the intimacy problem and watch the fireworks fly!!!!!!
Best Wishes,
"The Relationship Rehab Coach"
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