"10 Things to Declare Freedom from This Fourth of July,"
by Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach
1. Harsh criticism of yourself.
If there are things that need correcting about yourself, be mindful and get to work. Beyond that, talk to yourself nicely. Our self-talk is with us nearly 24/7, and has far more influence on us than anyone else who talks to us. It shapes your reality. Make sure you're "on your side," not "on you back."
2. Harsh criticism of others.
A habit of criticizing is a habit of critizing. Most people
who are hyper-critical of others, are doing so because they don't like themselves. Work on eliminating constant criticism from your life. Become curious about others, learn how to help them grow, appreciate them, and develop the EQ skills necessary for relating to and working with them. As Thomas Leonard said, "We're all doing the very best we can under the circumstances, even when clearly we are not."
3. Addictions to substances.
Whether it's drugs (prescription or illegal), alcohol, white sugar, white flour, caffeine, nicotine, chocolate, fat or something else, start today to rid yourself of these harmful addictions. Declare freedom for your mind and body!
4. Addiction to people.
Do you need constant companionship or praise from others in order to feel good? Are you unable to tolerate being alone with yourself? Do you accept blame and abuse because you must have people with you? It's a great freedom when you can live with yourself, though preferring people who are supportive and loving, and enjoying them when available and willing. Learn not to use people, and how not to let them use you.
5. Negative people.
Negative people suck your energy and enthusiasm like
vampires. Declare freedom by refusing to tolerate them in
your life, and declare freedom from guilt because you do
this. Because they are negative people, the partings will likely be negative (not pleasant). Accept that as part of their reality and reshape your social support network, and thereby your life.
6. Addiction to thoughts.
Declare freedom from obsessions. Are you obsessing about someone or something . a house you must have, a job you can't live without, an injustice against you, a friend, or your country, a person you feel you "can't live without"? Is your mind full of how things must be in order for you to feel good? Are you "the conscience" for your office? Are your thoughts poisoned by negativity? You can change how and what you think. Start practicing today. If you can't imagine how, get some coaching!
7. Addiction to emotions.
Do you feel empty or bored when not in a high state of
emotion? Do you seek out and provoke others because you
don't know what to do when you aren't emotionally engaged
with another person? Does anger damage your relationships,
and do out-of-control emotions damage your focus and productivity at work? Developing your EQ can help you manage your emotions, so you're in control of them, not vice versa.
8. Beliefs that no longer serve you.
Are you miserable because something isn't how you think it should be. Are you convinced that X, Y or Z must occur before you can tolerate life? Must another person change in order for you to be able to be happy? Can you not be happy because your boss favors another employee over you and that's not "fair" or are you furious because people don't think the same way you do, or dress the same way? Do you believe something that no longer works for you? Have you considered that your beliefs were all learned, and therefore could all be changed if need be? Declare yourself free from self-limiting beliefs.
9. Blaming your parents for how you are.
As an adult, if there's something about you or your
situation you're not pleased with, acknowledge that you are
the one who can change it, and get the help and support you need so you can move forward. Coaches and mental health professionals can help you make this transition into owning your own life and taking responsiblity for your self, behaviors, opinions, beliefs, reactions, and happiness. Continuing to blame your parents denies you the opportunity to make those changes.
10. That certain person.
You know who I mean. Usually this is a former lover of
spouse. Are you chained to this person by emotions you can't let go. Are you addicted to the anger they "caused" you, so unable to move on. Are you pining for a lover who dumped or rejected you so that you miss real love opportunities? Declare freedom from this person. Accept it as if you wanted it to happen, get on with your life, and expect the best. You deserve it. It's their loss, not yours.
©Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach,, http://www.susandunn.cc .
Susan is the author of "Self-Limiting Beliefs: How to Know Them, How to Change Them," and offers coaching, business programs, Internet courses and ebooks around emotional intelligence for your personal and professional development. She trains and certifies EQ coaches. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn. cc for information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program.
