A "Taker" Searches for happiness
By David Leonhardt
"There are two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers.
Takers might eat well, but givers sleep better at night." Aha!
Your humble scribe has had a tough time sleeping lately. I
thought it might have something to do with the happiness of
keeping pace with a tornado toddler and an almost bursting-at-
the-seems, more-than-pregnant wife. Or the joy of fending back
the weeds threatening to overrun the house and take over the
kingdom in a bloody coup. Or the excitement of renovating an old
room with crooked walls and a slanted floor to become a perfectly
straight, modern nursery for our Beany-Baby-to-be. Or the thrill
of somehow trying to earn a few dollars to keep my ever-so-
friendly and oh-so-understanding bank manager from gleefully
slapping past-due stickers all over my front door.
Now I learn that my lack of sleep is from taking too much and not
giving enough. So I set out to give as much as I could.
I decided to start by giving advice. "The blue would look better
on you."
"What?" my wife asked. "You never comment on what I'm wearing,
at least not voluntarily."
"It's my new sleeping therapy," I explained with excitement.
"Givers sleep better than takers, so I just gave you some
advice."
"Well, while you're at it, is there anything else you want to
comment on?"
I saw my chance to give a compliment. "Overall, you are really
beautiful."
"Why, thank you."
I was on a roll. I was really giving. This was my chance to give
her my opinion. "Your hair is kind of ugly like that."
"What?! You take that back!"
"No, I can't," I protested. "That would make me a taker and I
won't be able to sleep."
"Then you can just take your silly opinions and get out of here."
"No, I can't do that. I can't take ..." My sentence was cut
short by the hard realization that my nose and a door could not
occupy the same space at the same time.
I decided to call my mother. "Hi mom. I thought I would give you
a quick call."
"How sweet. You took the time to call your mother."
"No. No. I didn't take anything," I protested.
"Oh yes you did. You even took my advice to call more often.
And you took account of your mother's happiness. And you took
... Hello? Hello?"
I just could not take any more. I scrambled out the door, the
receiver still dangling from the table.
I had to take off. No, that would just keep me from sleeping. I
saw my neighbor. Surely I could give him a hand.
"Sorry. Today I'm just relaxing." He studied the stress etched
upon my face. "You look like you should take a break, too."
"No, I can't take a break. Takers don't sleep well at night."
"Well, at least you're taking a stand on something."
"I am NOT taking a stand," I protested. I was beginning to feel
like a career protester.
"Take it easy, fellow."
Yikes! My neighbor was making me into a champion taker. I
darted back toward my house.
"Take care," my neighbor called after me.
"Noooooooooo" I screamed with my hands over my ears.
Crouched in the safety of my favorite closet, I tallied up the
day. I gave advice, a compliment and my opinion. I took it
back, my silly opinions, the time, my mother's advice and account
of my mother's happiness, off, a break, a stand, it easy and
care. I gave three times and took ten times.
No wonder I wasn't sleeping well at night. I was truly a taker.
There was nothing left to do but to take a sleeping pill. That
should give me at least five hours of sleep, give or take a few.
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visit his website at
http://TheHappyGuy.com .
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