Feeling good does not meant wandering around like a Pollyanna. Firstly, its going to do nothing but irritate people around you. Secondly, and more importantly, it will probably be an artificial good feeling. And finally, and most importantly, feeling good does not mean ignoring feelings of unhappiness.
You can't force yourself to feel good. While its all very well to get up in to morning and say that today is going to be a great day, unless it is based on some facts or past reality, you won't be able to keep up the act for too long. Acting like you feel good, without a reason for feeling that way, is just fooling others, and more importantly, trying to fool yourself.
We all go through periods of unhappiness. Denying emotions of sorrow is counter productive. Grieving is part of the healing process to help us overcome unhappiness. The problem is that we often cling onto our grief for far longer than we need to. There are degrees of unhappiness and unless we learn to understand this, we won't truly understand how to feel happy. Having a small fender bender in your car on the way to work is upsetting, but is it something that you should allow to ruin your whole week? Is it as bad as a relationship ending?
Feeling good does not mean ignoring unhappiness. Without some amount of unhappiness, how would we be able to understand the amount and value of the happiness we have in our lives? Getting a great new pair of shoes only means something if you have been dissatisfied or unhappy with the old pair. Happiness and unhappiness are positive and negative emotions. They both need to exist for the other to have some meaning. Without one there could not be the other.
The trick to feeling happy is to learn to keep the unhappiness in balance. It would be foolish not to grieve over the loss of a loved one. But if you can focus more on they good times you had together rather than to loss you feel, you are emphasizing the good and minimizing the bad. In any situation, or just as a matter of course, there are some things you can do to make yourself happier.
Start by thinking of and making a mental list of all you strengths, no matter how trivial they may seem. Make sure that you do as many of these things as you can each day, even if its something as small as polishing your shoes far better than anyone else does. Focusing you your strengths will allow you to feel more positive and thus happier.
What are the things you enjoy doing the most? These are not things that you need to be exceptionally good at - just things that give you pleasure. Try and do at least one of these things everyday. The happiness you get from this will not just end with the activity, but stay with you for some time afterwards. The more of these activities you can fit into your day, the more your happiness quotient will increase.
Make a list (mental or on paper) of all the good things that have happened to you. Try to understand why they made you so happy. The reasons behind your happiness are important. Buying a new car may have made you feel good, but there's more to it than that. What was it about the new car? The shiny new look? The pleasure of driving it? The feeling of achievement at being able to afford it? Once you know not just what makes you happy but why they do, you will be able to be able to focus on other things that will bring you pleasure.
Don't ignore unhappiness, but use it in a positive manner. The contrast between unhappiness and happiness makes the happiness seem greater. All you have to do is make the effort to feel happy.
------
Helena Ederveen is an expert in assisting you to understand why you have developed snoring, sleep apnoea, excessive tiredness and other related issues. Helena is a clinical Nutritionist, Master Practitioner NLP, Advanced Eriksonian Hypnosis Practitioner.Go to
snoring remedies
