The stress that affects many individuals is often inconsequential to their lives, even though it might be the result of recurring problems. Robert Fritz, author of The Path of Least Resistance, has an innovative concept for gaining breakthrough solutions in the face of recurring problems. He says, for example, that if you experience undue stress about being late, rejected, early, or accepted, look at the situation at hand, experience the stress in all its magnitude, and then consider it your best friend. Best friend? Are you nuts?
"The sensations that you experience, problematic stress for seemingly minor events," Fritz observes, "are dynamic, creative forms of information." Avoiding or attempting to avoid the information that you receive doesn't give you any power.
Regarding your problematic stress response as a best friend based on Fritz's perspective enables you to benefit from what he calls the law of reversal. You use the negative energy surrounding the problem to propel you to positive forces available and to achieving a solution. In other words, that which stresses you also points the direction to greater health and well-being.
The more stress that you experience in a particular situation, the greater your potential to one day alleviate that stress and live a more balanced life. Your stress can be your best friend because it points you in the right direction. The key is to keep asking yourself, what is this reaction forcing me to learn or to do? Do I need to read up on this, involve others, let go with my tendency to over-control, or simply take things more slowly?
Suppose that you are someone who needs to be in control of things, and becomes disheveled if he/she is not. Lack of control is a key issue that causes stress for many men, slightly less so for women. It's easier to feel successful when you're in control, whereas when you're not feeling in control, any little thing can become stressful.
The less in control you feel, the more you want to be in control, which makes you feel even more out of control. This spiral adds to your stress. The need to be in control can be a persistent, chronic source of stress for some and a contributing factor to poor mental health. For some, being in control takes the form of a compulsion to out-perform others.
One of the paradoxes of control is that to feel like you have more of it, you have to let go of your dire need for it. To successfully drop back a bit in your need for control, take a different path; attempt counter control measures:
* Develop perspective. Step back from the problem. A month from now, will you even remember what's bothering you today?
* Be realistic. Is this a situation for which you can make a difference? Maybe not.
* Look at the big picture. Having a sense of purpose or a mission in life routinely offers peace of mind independent of the nitty-gritty problems that you face on a daily basis.
If You Want to Control Something, Control Your Stress
Vital to your health and well-being, career success and personal quality of life is learning how to keep your stress at an acceptable level. When you have the right amount, everything clicks. When you have a power surge, you're going to suffer in one or more ways.
Suppose there was a spectrum with numbers ranging from 1 to100. One hundred would be your highest level of stress. When you're above 80, your entire being is under stress and you're unable to operate effectively, either mentally or physically. When you're at a score of 30 or below, you're calm, relaxed, and have a rare peace of mind. When you're between 40 and 70, you'll be the most productive at work. If you're an athlete, you'll turn in your best performances.
As strange as it may seem, you actually have a choice of where you want to be on the spectrum, almost independent of what is immediately confronting you. After all, you're the one, as Dr. Wayne Dyer says, who chooses how you will respond.
Based on what you interpret, and how you respond to the environment around you, you actually have the ability to keep your level of stress in check all day long, day in and day out. You may know somebody who exhibits such power, and never have considered that he didn't simply happen to be born under a lucky sign, he's participating in the process of keeping his stress under control.
You may have heard that if you're a Type A personality, a hard-driving type who works too long, you're likely to be more stressed than others. This isn't necessarily true. Type A behavior is only harmful if you exhibit aggressive and hostile tendencies. If you're a bonafide "Type A," but not aggressive or hostile, and you attempt to be something other than that, your stress level may actually increase. Some people are quite comfortable being Type A's all the time, again, as long as they don't exhibit overly aggressive or hostile behavior. If you're operating the controls and levers of your career and life, then whether you're Type A or Type B, you're much more likely to avoid stress.
Change of Venue
If you feel as if you're part of the proverbial rat race and the rats are winning, here are some suggestions that offer a change of pace, something away from the ordinary that may help you to achieve lower levels of stress. Not all of these will appeal to you, but, often, simply changing your routine a little is a great help.
* Go through your closets and drawers, and pull out everything you haven't worn in the past two years. Set the clothing aside, and donate it to the Salvation Army, Goodwill, your local church, or any other outreach organization.
* Plan a vacation by getting brochures, pamphlets, books, or advice from friends on where to go for a relaxing week or weekend.
* One inclement Sunday afternoon, go through your bookshelf, pull out the books you know you'll never want or need to read again, and make a donation to your local library.
* Challenge yourself to make small improvements in your daily life, such as leaving the house on time or putting your seat belt on before starting your car.
* Actually celebrate any forthcoming holiday by getting together with friends or family members.
* Eat dinner early one night each week this month to make time for family conversation.
* Eliminate all extraneous noises that compete for your attention at dinner. Cut off the TV and radio, and find out what's going on in your family members' lives--talk to each other.
To win the war on stress requires only small steps, applied consistently. You can head off to the mountains for a weekend and hang out with the peace and love gurus, but then, hey, you've got to live in the same world you just left. You might as well make small, incremental changes right where you are!
Jeff helps organizations and individuals manage the relentless enslaught of information overload. www.BreathingSpace.com discusses Jeff's keynote speeches and seminars including "Managing Information and Communication Overload" and "Prospering in a World of Rapid Change." Jeff is Executive Director of the Breathing Space® Institute; a popular speaker; and the author of numerous books, including:
* The 60 Second Organizer (Adams Media)
* Breathing Space (MasterMedia)
* The Joy of Simple Living (Rodale)
* Complete Idiot's Guide to Managing Your Time (Alpha/Penguin)
To book Jeff for your next meeting call him directly at 800-735-1994.
