In my work as a forensic psychologist I have been involved in hundreds of criminal cases of domestic abuse over the years. Some of them involved the death of one, or even both, of the people in the relationship. I think it is obvious to everyone that by the time couples are using physical weapons against each other, the relationship is in very deep trouble to say the least.
Many don't realize that it is not physical assault nor dangerous weapons that irrevocably destroy relationships. It's in actuality something far worse that causes relationships to cease to exist. Are you curious to know what kind of weapon does the most damage?
Language!
INXS preforms a song that is one of the songs that I really like called "The Devil Inside" and in it they sing about the frailties of people. At one point in the song they sing a line that expresses my thoughts better than I can, "Words as weapons sharper than knives. Makes you wonder how the other half dies." When they sing that line, they are referring to women, but I think it also applies to men.
How many times growing up did you hear the old saying, "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me." That old saw might be something we try to keep in mind, but it usually is not the case. Words carry meaning, and if the meaning is mean, they can injure more people than any weapon created by man. The reason for this is that many people, when they feel insulted, immediately fire back, unleashing words of anger that they cannot recant.
There is an old saying that you can't undo what you have done and this is true for your words also. Once you say something you don't mean, you cannot take it back, no matter what type of apology you issue. A good rule of thumb is to think about what you are going to say, instead of reacting to the situation and letting your frustrations out. Just because you can't see the damage, does not mean it's not there.
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