Leadership is about first deciding your own reality
I have decided to start with this text as simply far too
many people have said to me I should - it clearly has an
enormous following of people who found the message rang true
for them.
In the introduction to the 7 Habits of Highly Effective
People Covey talks about how we perceive reality based on
certain beliefs or paradigm.
As an example, he tells the story of a ship in a fog,
apparently on a collision course with another craft. The
captain, having become quite agitated at the other crafts
refusal to alter course, experienced a significant paradigm
shift when it was realised that the other craft was a
lighthouse. The captain then faced a situation in a new
light(no pun intended). His reality and behaviour altered
by the new understanding. The message is that often we
forget that what we think is reality, is only what we see.
Just ask any magician!!
A strong thread through this first section is that people
don't do things to you. They are acting on their reality in
the same way as you are seeing motives behind their actions
based on what you can see. When the feeling of being "done
to" rises we too often look to blame something external.
What Covey is saying, is that only by understanding the
perceived reality of the do'er, can we find the common
reality necessary to both appreciate the true middle
ground.
This is not easy. When I have been in the position where I
was sure someone was doing something just to get back at me,
I struggle to even consider their position in any unfiltered
light. I have needed someone I trust to take me aside and
say "Listen Steve, no matter what you think, this person is
doing this because they truly believe it for the good of the
group". This was something I would not even had heard from
the person in question, and frankly was not that easy to
hear from my then trusted coach. Covey has a great quote
"What you are shouts so loudly in my ears I cannot her what
you say" -how many times has that been the case?
He speaks of an "inside-out" approach to problems, that
means to start with ourselves and what?s happening on the
inside. As an example this approach says that private
victories precede public ones, that keeping promises to
ourselves precedes keeping promises to others.
"Character is a composite of our habits"
"habits are the intersection of Knowledge, Skill and
Desire."
These statements under pin the rest of the book.
Covey talks about three levels of maturity. Dependence
where everything is about "you"(someone else) that we are
dependent upon. Independence, where its all about I - I am
responsible and I can do it. This is where I feel many
leaders stop. With the confidence of only themselves they
try to drive others to their dreams.
Interdependence is where its all about we. Being a natural
introvert, this is something I have to learn. I am far more
comfortable doing my stuff on my own. The thought of having
to rely on others for part of my dreams does not feel
natural. That may be a bit harsh, in fact there are a few
individuals I have worked with where is has not been an
issue of leadership, more of partnership. My issue is to
expand these to a wider number of people.
Covey talks about how interdependence can feel like
dependence and therefore not a step forward. Often phrased
as "doing their own thing" or being liberated people move
back from potential interdependence to independence.
The rest of the book is divided into three main parts. The
first three chapters deal with taking people from dependence
to independence. Now if you are like me, you think this is
a step you have already taken. This maybe so, but these
chapters are going to heighten our self awareness and cement
us at or above the level of independence. Covey describes
these as "Private Victories".
Habits four to seven are the "Public Victories" that will
move us from independence to interdependence, and the last
habit is about continuous improvement.
Covey then talks about efficiency as the necessary balance
between return and investment. Or as he calls it Production
and production Capacity (P/PC). An interesting quote here
for me was "..always treat your employees as you would have
them treat your best customers." He speaks of how you can
employ people but the extra special part of the individual
has to be won, passionate employees are there for more than
the money, is the way I see it. This is where the
interdependence and trusting those you work with all starts
to come together.
The final message of the introduction is:
"No one can persuade another to change. Each of us guards a
gate of change that can only be opened from the inside".
For me this is a moment of commitment. I feel that I have a
choice here and now. I can leave the gate closed and go on
as before, or open it and dive into the rest of this text
"..and see how deep the rabbit hole goes" as Morpheus said.
Be brave, be famous.
Cheers Steve
BYLINE:
After years as a successful consultant I found myself
leading a team. In an effort to move from being a leader to
showing Leadership I am on a journey of discovery. If you
have found yourself in a similar position, join with me at
http://2leadership.com. - Steve
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http://2leadership.com
