Team dinners are a staple of the consulting world. Everybody on a project or in a particular practice gets together "away f rom work" to get to know each other, build morale, and celebrate success. Team dinners for project teams often include clients, and internal team dinners (e.g. for a practice or service line) comprise only your coworkers at the firm. For the more cynical among us, team dinners are a way to see the people you already see fourteen hours a day for another two hours of forced socializing. Whether you perceive team dinners positively or negatively, though, there are certain expectations of all participants.
Especially if clients are better, managing your behavior is critical. It is tempting to let your guard down. You are away from the office, and the purpose of a team dinner is not to extend the work day. These are social occasions. Further, the frequent presence of alcohol can make it all too easy to relax, and you may wind up speaking too freely. The easiest conversation - work - should be avoided, so now you have the challenge of finding an appropriate topic while ensuring that your contribution to the conversation is appropriate. Consequently, mastering how to behave at a team dinner is challenging; you will have to work at it. Preparation is always best, and there are a few simple guidelines you should keep in mind.
Conversation
Conversation at team dinners can be tricky, and the challenge is exacerbated if clients are joining you. First, everybody generally knows each other, so you cannot hide behind the superficial small-talk used with people you meet for the first time.& nbsp; Instead, you have to delve into more substantive topics, while being careful as to taboo topics, different individual biases, and confidential or proprietary firm information.
The easiest way to engage in open and meaningful conversation with your colleagues is to talk about work. Unfortunately, this defeats the purpose of team dinners. The point is to get to know each other - to learn about your colleagues personally - without getting to personal. With the easiest solution to your problem taken from you, some creativity is necessary. You need to know what topics are acceptable and what you should avoid.
Do not discuss politics. Even if your group is sympathetic to your beliefs, politics just presents too much risk. There is always somebody who gets excited, argumentative, or offended. No matter how comfortable you are with your colleagues, avoid any political discussions. It quite simply is safer. Religion is another taboo, for the same reasons as religion. Further, do not discuss how you feel about your job, the project, or your client - even if your feelings are overwhelmingly positive. Personal opinions about professional matters expose you to considerable risk. Once you have spoken about such matters, your words could come back to haunt you.
Conversations about personal matters are much safer, but be cognizant of some boundaries. Talking about families superficially is fine (e.g. "How many kids do you have?"). Asking if a colleague's or client's children are adopted, though, is inappropriate. Family dynamics and challenges are dangerous topics, so stick to asking how old children are and whether they like school. Personal interests and hobbies are fine. While you cannot control other people's answers to such questions, you can control your own. Use some discretion. Any interests you have that could be offensive (or that involve religion or politics) are best kept to yourself.
Example Consultant 1: What do you do for fun? Consultant 2: I conduct political rallies outside my church, opposing [or supporting] abortion [or the death penalty or school choice or any other controversial issue]
As you can see from the example above, you need to consider your answers carefully - even if the question is mundane.
The Client When you have clients present at your team dinner, an extra level of caution is always warranted. Despite the fact that you are no longer in the office, remember that the client is the reason that you are at the team dinner - and the reason that you are able to put a nightly dinner on your own table at home. It is imperative that you deliver to your client the same level of service and courtesy that you would expect from the sommelier, waitstaff, and hostess.
In talking with your client guests, always let them drive the conversation. People feel most comfortable when they set the tone and direction of the discussion, and your job (as always) is to make the client feel comfortable. Of course, you should never int errupt your client or argue. If your client brings you into one of the "taboo" topics described above, you should not cut them off, but you should have a few simple answers that allow you to participate in the discussion without offending anybody.
If the client asks you about politics, brush off the question with a joke. "Am I a Republican or a Democrat? Neither. I just like to complain about whoever is in power!" If the client turns serious, you can always reply that you like to keep your political, religious, or other controversial views private - because you know they are crazy enough to offend somebody.
Team dinners are supposed to be enjoyable, but they can turn into the most stressful part of a consultant's job. Making sure that you can find a restaurant that everybody will like, controlling how much you drink, and finding the best topics of conversation can be daunting. Throwing the client into the mix - the person who ultimately pays your salar y - can multiply the stress of the occasion. In order to perform well - and enjoy yourself - relax first. Have a few simple, safe questions you can ask the people sitting next to you, and make sure your client has a good time. Chances are, you will too.
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