As Lynn Visson's "Wedded Strangers" explains:
“Russians are completely convinced of their opinion. They see no reason to change. Americans are taught to exchange ideas or opinions. Russians are dogmatic. Everything is right or wrong. There are no shades of gray.”
Trying to discuss issues with my wife was like talking to a wall sometimes. She had one point of view and she wasn’t willing to change her mind.
I tried different tactics. Using logic. Approaching the subject from another point of view. Suggesting alternatives. Sometimes there was no point in discussing the subject. She just wasn’t going to change her mind.
Sometimes in my frustration, I would put my head against the wall and move my arms and legs like I was walking. I would yell out, “Turn right! Turn right!” But I would continue to try to walk forward into the wall like the Energizer Bunny.
I would say to my wife, “That is exactly like talking to you. You keep walking forward regardless of the fact that you are walking right into the wall. You refuse to look at things from another point of view.”
I would throw my hands up and cry out, “Rock heads!”
You can tell a Russian, but you can't tell him much!
When we would have arguments she would say, “I never help her. I always do things that I want to do. I never do things she wants me to do.” Black or white. Always or never. Never a shade of gray.
Do you notice the arguments are always about what she thinks I should be doing. They never are about what I think she should be doing. It’s always about manipulating my behavior. It’s never about changing her behavior.
Of course, she says that’s because she always does the right thing and puts the needs of the family first. She says she needs to help me make the right decision.
She needs to tell me what the right thing to do is, when I make the wrong decision. Of course, the ‘right decision’ is always from her perspective.
I love my wife.
John has been successfully married to a Belarussian wife for over five years. He has traveled extensively through Russia and other CIS countries. He will tell you why you should consider Russian women, how to meet them, how to bring your special woman home, and how to survive married life.
http://www.russian-luv.com/whywritten1.html
