Feeling you don’t measure up is a common misconception. The negative carping monster of low self esteem can convince us we live a nightmare world where our every word or deed serves as further proof to us of our complete lack of value. Feeling unlovable, we move through our days and nights, bumbling, tripping, stuttering, blushing, and apologizing for our very existence because that is the drama we have created in our minds.
Get that? The drama we have created in our minds. Thinking we can’t measure up, we begin to live according to that expectation. Finding affirmation in our shame - after all, we have found our place in this nightmare world we have created, haven’t we? Why wouldn’t we be validated. The process is repeated under similar circumstances, and voila! we have a pattern.
Don’t add creating a self esteem nightmare to your list of foibles. All too often, care givers, and other loved ones, and even heredity, can set us up for these negative – and untrue beliefs. Yes, some people are just born Eeyores. To them the world is a dark and tricky place where every glass is half full, and every smile is a sneer. At the far end of the confidence spectrum is depression, best treated by a professional therapist as soon as possible. Like a bad tooth it just doesn’t go away and only gets worse with time, infecting those around it.
Regardless of the source or degree, chronic blushing can be the result of negative thoughts, and subsequent patterns must always be confronted with positive affirmation. The good news is that years of deep Freudian analysis aren’t necessary. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy clinicians agree that knowing the source of even acute social phobias really isn’t crucial for treatment. It’s a matter of linking the trigger or stimulus to a different reaction, while correcting accompanying misconceptions, and helping to create a spontaneous, positive outlook in that situation. Treatment is brief and limited, and can often be applied by the individual, even online.
What triggers your drama and reinforces your low self esteem pattern?
Here are a few examples to get you started.
Public speaking
Asking for a date
Asserting yourself
Job Interviews
Asking for help
Making suggestions
Talking to strangers
Being alone in a group or public place
