24th November 2009
"Dr. King, speak to how it is for the mature woman in an abusive relationship and how it is for her when she leaves," writes a reader.
My knee jerk response to this request was, "the dynamics are the same." Battering is battering is battering. An abuse...
10th November 2009
Battered women and abused men are accustomed to being the scapegoat for the problems in their abusive relationships. They are routinely told:
- "It's your fault, you made me do it, say it, etc.,"
- "If you weren't so ________, it wouldn't have happe...
05th November 2009
A survivor asks, "Once your abusive partner has used the legal system for further abuse, and final papers are filed with you having to see a psychologist of his choosing, what do you do? How do you turn the case around? He continues to threaten to take t...
22nd October 2009
For people who have been in family court battling domestic abuse, it's no secret that the children are the real causalities.
Typically, the perpetrator will use the legal system to perpetuate domestic abuse upon the spouse he/she is divorcing. And the ...
21st October 2009
The patient's partner asks, "How do I know she can benefit from psychotherapy?" And I'm honored to have the answer roll right out of me.
This is a question that many family members have once they reach that point of doubt. You know what I mean. Doubt t...
15th October 2009
When domestic abuse survivors show up in the system to protect their children and themselves from family violence, they can unknowingly step into "institutionalized abuse." This is especially true when they rely on family court to provide remedy for domes...
01st October 2009
"You are in a system." These five words explain the nightmare that battered women encounter in divorce court. Yet, in and of themselves, these words confuse them.
More often, they think that they are just dealing with "bad" attorneys or a court that is...
23rd September 2009
Most of the time what people do to us is not about us; it's all about them. But, when on the receiving end, we don't see it that way. We assume it is because of us.
This is especially true of domestic violence survivors, who have become accustomed to b...
21st September 2009
People say once a victim, always a victim. I beg to differ.
Over the years I have been watching men and women grow to become self-sufficient, self-respecting people who have no tolerance for being abused any more. These people have completely healed fr...
17th September 2009
People say that the system doesn't work. What I see is people not working the system to their advantage. This is especially true for battered women in divorce court.
Now this doesn't mean that they are responsible for the system failures, any more than...
16th September 2009
Battered women and uninformed bystanders frequently say that the system doesn't work. While it may not be perfect, it most certainly works. The real problem is most people don't know how to work the system.
Domestic abuse survivors go to divorce court ...
07th September 2009
"How does a woman that has been out of the workforce for 20 years get the training and job skills that are needed to reenter the workforce, as well as overcome the emotional issues related to a lack of self-worth? And further, how is this done in the cur...
01st September 2009
Battered women, who are victims of spousal legal abuse, tell me, "The courts and attorneys don't get it!" These women truly believe that the court agents don't understand domestic abuse. But the fact is the divorce lawyers and family court agents do under...
30th August 2009
I hear battered women's outrage over what their opposition says about them in divorce court. They take it to heart and integrate the slanderous comments as though they really are the picture painted by the other side.
Best part of it is they usually ar...
19th August 2009
We all know that when we see a victim of domestic abuse, there are other people impacted by this person's victimization. Some are affected directly, some indirectly, some intentionally and some inadvertently.
Now if you've read my writings, you know I ...
