17th November 2009
Clifford, 42, married with children, told me during a phone session that he was tired of not feeling happy and joyous. "As a small child, I remember being so happy and excited about life. But my parents didn't receive me at all. They were indifferent to m...
09th November 2009
Ed consulted with me because he was concerned about his 16 year-old son. "He doesn't have any friends. I'd like to spend more time with him but there doesn't seem to be anything he likes to do.""How does he spend his time?" I asked."Playing video games."B...
30th October 2009
"I feel awful saying this," Mary told me during one of our phone counseling sessions, "but I often wish my husband would die. I feel like a terrible person saying this, but I think about it a lot.""I hear this fairly often," I responded. "You are thinking...
22nd October 2009
What is Social Phobia?Social phobia - or social anxiety - is the fear of interacting with others in various situations: groups, work, school, parties, on the telephone, in a market or store, and so on. People with social phobia experience extreme anxiety ...
16th October 2009
Research indicates that children would rather be yelled at than ignored. When prisoners are being punished, they are put in isolation, because being isolated is one of the harshest punishments there is - other than physical abuse.The silent treatment is a...
07th October 2009
"Why do men so often change after sex?" asked Shelley in our first phone session. "Tell me what you mean by this. What has been your experience?" I asked her."I meet a guy who I like. We are very attracted to each other - lots of great chemistry. It doesn...
30th September 2009
"When it is helpful to apologize?" asked Patricia, a client of mine, in one of our phone sessions. Her husband, Brent, often expected her to apologize and she was confused about when it was appropriate. The answer to this question is a little complex, bec...
24th September 2009
Many years ago, when I became a psychotherapist, all I knew was the traditional psychotherapy that I had learned in school, and that I had personally experienced with many different therapists and many different forms of therapy. For 18 years I practiced ...
17th September 2009
Some people believe that it is caring to point out their partner's flaws - that it will help to make that person a better person. But the intent behind pointing out flaws is not loving - it is controlling.Pointing Out FlawsBy pointing out flaws, you hope ...
07th September 2009
Does anger have power? Are you being powerful when you are angry? The answers to these questions depend on what you mean by power. Certainly you can intimidate many people with your anger - especially children or others who are physically weaker than you,...
02nd September 2009
"Why would my boyfriend cheat on me?""I'm pretty sure my wife is cheating on me. I want to know why.""I know that my husband has been cheating on me for years. I don't get why he does this."Why do people cheat on their partners? Why do others have affairs...
21st August 2009
"I feel like giving up," Emma told me in our first phone session. "I've worked and worked on myself and I'm still miserable. I've had years of therapy and I still feel unbearably depressed. Nothing is working.""It sounds to me like you are abandoning your...
12th August 2009
"Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother."But what if your father and mother didn't honor you? What if instead of loving and honoring you they physically, sexually and emotionally abused you? What if you were scared every day of your growing up years? And what if...
05th August 2009
"Why don't I have friends?" asked Isabella in one of our phone counseling sessions.Isabella, 25 and very attractive, was having a problem that many people have. Sometimes, if people don't keep their high school friends or meet friends in college or at wor...
30th July 2009
The Encarta World English Dictionary defines "confidence" as "a belief or self-assurance in your ability to succeed."We all know people who appear to be very confident professionally, yet when it comes to personal relationships, appear to be very insecure...
