http://www.articlealley.com en-us editorial@articlealley.com When the family wants the patient sick, treatment and recovery are impossible. This is the way it usually appears for all practical purposes. Family members' defenses protect interpersonal and intergenerational dysfunction...unless the patient is internal... http://www.articlealley.com/article_1261100_35.html 27th November 2009 "Dr. King, speak to how it is for the mature woman in an abusive relationship and how it is for her when she leaves," writes a reader. My knee jerk response to this request was, "the dynamics are the same." Battering is battering is battering. An abuse... http://www.articlealley.com/article_1247877_35.html 24th November 2009 Battered women and abused men are accustomed to being the scapegoat for the problems in their abusive relationships. They are routinely told: - "It's your fault, you made me do it, say it, etc.," - "If you weren't so ________, it wouldn't have happe... http://www.articlealley.com/article_1224721_35.html 10th November 2009 A survivor asks, "Once your abusive partner has used the legal system for further abuse, and final papers are filed with you having to see a psychologist of his choosing, what do you do? How do you turn the case around? He continues to threaten to take t... http://www.articlealley.com/article_1220452_18.html 05th November 2009 For people who have been in family court battling domestic abuse, it's no secret that the children are the real causalities. Typically, the perpetrator will use the legal system to perpetuate domestic abuse upon the spouse he/she is divorcing. And the ... http://www.articlealley.com/article_1193472_35.html 22nd October 2009 The patient's partner asks, "How do I know she can benefit from psychotherapy?" And I'm honored to have the answer roll right out of me. This is a question that many family members have once they reach that point of doubt. You know what I mean. Doubt t... http://www.articlealley.com/article_1190270_24.html 21st October 2009 When domestic abuse survivors show up in the system to protect their children and themselves from family violence, they can unknowingly step into "institutionalized abuse." This is especially true when they rely on family court to provide remedy for domes... http://www.articlealley.com/article_1175959_18.html 15th October 2009 "You are in a system." These five words explain the nightmare that battered women encounter in divorce court. Yet, in and of themselves, these words confuse them. More often, they think that they are just dealing with "bad" attorneys or a court that is... http://www.articlealley.com/article_1139493_35.html 01st October 2009 Most of the time what people do to us is not about us; it's all about them. But, when on the receiving end, we don't see it that way. We assume it is because of us. This is especially true of domestic violence survivors, who have become accustomed to b... http://www.articlealley.com/article_1109613_24.html 23rd September 2009 People say once a victim, always a victim. I beg to differ. Over the years I have been watching men and women grow to become self-sufficient, self-respecting people who have no tolerance for being abused any more. These people have completely healed fr... http://www.articlealley.com/article_1101994_24.html 21st September 2009 People say that the system doesn't work. What I see is people not working the system to their advantage. This is especially true for battered women in divorce court. Now this doesn't mean that they are responsible for the system failures, any more than... http://www.articlealley.com/article_1091785_35.html 17th September 2009 Battered women and uninformed bystanders frequently say that the system doesn't work. While it may not be perfect, it most certainly works. The real problem is most people don't know how to work the system. Domestic abuse survivors go to divorce court ... http://www.articlealley.com/article_1086268_18.html 16th September 2009 "How does a woman that has been out of the workforce for 20 years get the training and job skills that are needed to reenter the workforce, as well as overcome the emotional issues related to a lack of self-worth? And further, how is this done in the cur... http://www.articlealley.com/article_1069915_24.html 07th September 2009 Battered women, who are victims of spousal legal abuse, tell me, "The courts and attorneys don't get it!" These women truly believe that the court agents don't understand domestic abuse. But the fact is the divorce lawyers and family court agents do under... http://www.articlealley.com/article_1059422_35.html 01st September 2009 I hear battered women's outrage over what their opposition says about them in divorce court. They take it to heart and integrate the slanderous comments as though they really are the picture painted by the other side. Best part of it is they usually ar... http://www.articlealley.com/article_1056180_18.html 30th August 2009 We all know that when we see a victim of domestic abuse, there are other people impacted by this person's victimization. Some are affected directly, some indirectly, some intentionally and some inadvertently. Now if you've read my writings, you know I ... http://www.articlealley.com/article_1041445_27.html 19th August 2009 "I'm going to file for divorce," she exclaimed, as though this was going to put an end to an abusive relationship. Ultimately, it may very well have this effect. But, a chapter of battling the bully and dueling with a deceptive beast waits in her most imm... http://www.articlealley.com/article_1025420_35.html 10th August 2009 Battered women, who have not yet declared themselves as domestic violence victims, but know that their partners are abusive, have many questions when it comes to therapy. Often they want to see a therapist with their partner in hopes to remedy the marr... http://www.articlealley.com/article_994050_27.html 23rd July 2009 Domestic violence survivors often believe they are the only victims in their divorce proceedings. And this belief adds to their victimization. While it is true that they are indeed victimized by the partner they are divorcing, their partners may be victim... http://www.articlealley.com/article_982572_35.html 16th July 2009 One of the most crippling life losses is the loss of a child to legal domestic abuse. Routinely, we are approached by women denied access to their children and grandchildren because of the whim of former abusive partners or family members. The pain the... http://www.articlealley.com/article_980965_24.html 16th July 2009 What is crazy making? We hear about it; we stumble upon it; we are subjected to it; and we even do it to others. But what is it? And how do you know it when you see it? Most often when we use the term "crazy making," we're referring to the conduct of s... http://www.articlealley.com/article_975279_35.html 10th July 2009 All too often domestic violence survivors use all of their financial resources to hire an attorney and then come to find they have nothing left to secure a professional advocate that remains on their side. And then they feel frustrated, desperate, hopeles... http://www.articlealley.com/article_974041_35.html 09th July 2009 I often hear domestic violence survivors complain that the counselor they are seeing with their partner has sided with him/her. These victims expected to seek therapeutic remedy for the dysfunction that they live, and they discover they have gained anothe... http://www.articlealley.com/article_951868_27.html 27th June 2009 As a psychologist, domestic abuse consultant and one who has known domestic violence personally, I'm frequently approached by battered women for "psychological truth." They are eager to know if the names and labels given to them by their abusive partners,... http://www.articlealley.com/article_950531_35.html 26th June 2009 We know it happens; yet when we see it, we're in shock. And when we experience it, we're numb. How can a family member, who once claimed to cherish you, plot to back you into a fabricated psychiatric label and sentence of craziness? That is the questio... http://www.articlealley.com/article_948924_35.html 23rd June 2009 For almost every battered woman and abused man I work with, there is a layman's label attached to the core of their self-perception. This label is typically bestowed upon them by their battering partner or by allies supporting his/her plight to save face ... http://www.articlealley.com/article_929471_35.html 12th June 2009 Domestic violence help comes in all shapes and sizes. There is the crisis hotline to get you where you need to go ASAP. Then, there are the community domestic abuse support groups that assure you that "you are not alone." Your domestic violence shelter... http://www.articlealley.com/article_924205_24.html 10th June 2009 People ask the most personal questions from the audience when they see you letting your hair down about the abuse that you endured. For years, individuals asked me, "Are you sorry you didn't leave after he hit you the first time?" "Knowing what can hap... http://www.articlealley.com/article_918493_35.html 05th June 2009 If I tell you that you are "crazy" and threaten to punish you because of what I have said, a part of you begins to question that maybe what I have alleged is true. Crazy-Making from the Outside In Then, if I tell someone in authority that you are "c... http://www.articlealley.com/article_908993_35.html 01st June 2009 Verbal abuse, as well as emotional abuse, result in wounds and scars deep within. In the following interview we look at the impact upon the victim and offer recommendations for her surviving and thriving beyond the battering. The following is part two ... http://www.articlealley.com/article_908986_35.html 01st June 2009 Even though "borderlines" think they are abuse victims, this doesn't make domestic violence victims "borderlines." We hear victims frequently labeled as being "borderlines;" that is, having a borderline personality disorder. However, I think what's more a... http://www.articlealley.com/article_904614_35.html 20th May 2009 I can remember twenty years ago having an elitist attitude about how I found my doctors. I only saw a doctor by referral. I was not the kind of person to find a doctor in the yellow pages. And I was accustomed to patients seeking me out through referral. ... http://www.articlealley.com/article_888097_24.html 12th May 2009 Institutionalizing battered women in psychiatric hospitals is as old as prostitution. It's an effective way to silence and discredit them. In My Own Practice I remember a case over 20 years ago in my own practice of a patient referred by a social wo... http://www.articlealley.com/article_880272_35.html 06th May 2009 The College World Reporter Donell Edwards interviews domestic abuse consulting expert Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. to help educate young college women about domestic violence. QUESTION 1: In recent weeks, the alleged attack of popular recording artist Rihann... http://www.articlealley.com/article_873792_35.html 01st May 2009 The family court nightmare leading up to my exile has lots of people scratching their heads wondering what actually happened. I detail all of it in All But My Soul: Abuse Beyond Control, but the whole story is so heart-wrenching that many people are blown... http://www.articlealley.com/article_854385_35.html 09th April 2009 Verbal abuse is toxic. The following is Kate Carlson, OTR/L interviewing domestic abuse consulting expert Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. in an effort to help people recognize and understand verbal abuse in unhealthy relationships. 1) Kate Carlson: In your wor... http://www.articlealley.com/article_845686_35.html 02nd April 2009 Lack of "emotional safety" is the number one indicator of a potentially dangerous relationship. It may seem subtle, yet it is ever so significant with respect to your health and well-being. When you have emotional safety, it's palatable. You can feel i... http://www.articlealley.com/article_845350_35.html 02nd April 2009 It's no secret that we see what we project. And when it comes to partner abuse, doing so can have repercussions for all of us. Prior abuse in one's life can set the stage for misinterpretations of our adult partner's actions, intentions, feelings and r... http://www.articlealley.com/article_837978_35.html 27th March 2009 The mental-emotional-physical connection is something some of us take for granted, while others remain in awe. I do both. Now here is a little psychological insight that will open doors for your recovery from psychological, mental and emotional abuse. ... http://www.articlealley.com/article_834606_24.html 25th March 2009 Would you know if you where in an emotionally abusive relationships? How do you know whether you're overly sensitive or emotionally abused? You know from the inside out. Look closely at these three tell-tale emotional abuse signs and let your awareness... http://www.articlealley.com/article_823693_35.html 13th March 2009 In marriages in which there is no domestic violence and parental alienation upon divorce, it is more often the woman who is the alienating parent. Whereas in marriages in which there is domestic violence, the victimized partner is in most cases the aliena... http://www.articlealley.com/article_808873_18.html 04th March 2009 Intimate partner violence is best avoided by understanding the warning signs of an abusive relationship. In an effort to help educate people and increase awareness of relationship abuse, Kate Carlson, OTR/L interviews Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. Kate Carlso... http://www.articlealley.com/article_801189_35.html 01st March 2009 There are as many variations on this story as there are people living it. Yet there are a few common themes that present in most renditions of established intimate partner violence. These are: a) There may very well be a price when you leave. b) ... http://www.articlealley.com/article_793390_35.html 20th February 2009 Why do we hate victims of domestic abuse? We hate the hold their perpetrators have over them when it interferes with us getting what love and affection we are accustom to receiving from them. We hate the frustration of not being able to shake them a... http://www.articlealley.com/article_779249_35.html 05th February 2009 When a domestic abuse survivor leaves a battering relationship and moves out, or speaks out, is she safe? Not necessarily so. Statistics show she is more often at greater risk after she leaves. Far too often we hear about battered women falling through... http://www.articlealley.com/article_777896_35.html 03rd February 2009 We hear it all the time: "You're too fat." "Your hair is too short, too long, you're a dummy, you're too fat, you can't, you won't, you shouldn't, you're too fat!" Sound familiar. It's no wonder that domestic abuse survivors develop dysfunctional rela... http://www.articlealley.com/article_760424_23.html 20th January 2009 If you've read my writing you know I'm a proponent of leaving an abusive relationship quickly and quietly, when you decide to do so. Now that doesn't mean you jump in the car and go "out of the blue." No not at all. Because if you do, chances are you'l... http://www.articlealley.com/article_736954_27.html 05th January 2009 If you want to know if your partner is a classic abuser, learn meditation and do your practice when it fits into your life, rather than when he/she is around. Here's what you will discover. Your partner will not be able to tolerate the fact that you ma... http://www.articlealley.com/article_724589_24.html 17th December 2008 When children go away to college and get away from "who and what" the controlling family members want them to be, a window opens up. What they discover is their essence. Now here's the gem... That essence is a composite of their formative years. If you... http://www.articlealley.com/article_710784_27.html 03rd December 2008 Often times we hear that leaving an abuser, can be deadly. According to FBI reports 75% of all homicides by intimate male partners occurred after the victim left. Battered women are far more vulnerable to physical attack as well as attacks to their per... http://www.articlealley.com/article_708279_24.html 03rd December 2008