http://www.articlealley.com en-us editorial@articlealley.com Do you hit your children? If you want to raise healthy children, reading this article is a must. “A new analysis concludes that spanking fails to alter kids' behavior in the long term. What it does instead is amp up their aggression.” From “Why Spanki... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/finally-studies-prove-that-spanking-doesnt-work-2426304.html 16th May 2012 Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. ~Henry Ford What happens for you when you get a great idea about something you want to do—a new business, a creative project, a vacation and so on? If it really is a gr... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/do-you-see-the-obstacle-or-the-goal-2425711.html 02nd May 2012 Giving to others can be one of the most fulfilling experiences in life, or it can be one of the most draining. What makes the difference?The difference has to do with WHY you are giving to others.Giving From A Full HeartWhen we give from a full heart, we ... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/giving-to-others-draining-or-fulfilling-2418555.html 13th March 2012 I recently attended a conference and one of the speakers was David Stanley, who lived with Elvis Presley as his stepbrother since David was four years old. His book, about his experiences with Elvis, called “Conversations With the King,” just got publishe... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/who-am-i-2416001.html 20th February 2012 Did you grow up believing that if only someone REALLY loved you in the way you needed to be loved, then you would feel happy, safe, lovable and worthy?Certainly being truly loved by parents goes a long way toward supporting children in feeling safe and lo... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/what-will-love-give-you-2411049.html 01st February 2012 "You find yourself refreshed by the presence of cheerful people. Why not make an honest effort to confer that pleasure on others? Half the battle is gained if you never allow yourself to say anything gloomy." --Julia Child, 1912-2004, Chef, Author and Tel... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/are-you-inspiring-or-gloomy-2408818.html 26th January 2012 We have all learned many ways of trying to avoid or get rid of our painful feelings. Many of these ways are fairly obvious: addictions to substances and activities, staying in your mind rather than in your body, or judging yourself.Another major way we av... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/how-do-you-make-others-responsible-for-your-painful-feelings-2408299.html 24th January 2012 We are inherently social beings, and feeling emotionally connected with another is one of the great joys in life. Yet, all too often, we feel lonely around another or others, wanting to connect and not knowing how. We may have learned numerous dysfunction... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/how-to-connect-with-others-2405855.html 17th January 2012 In my counseling practice, I often have clients who tend to isolate as a way of protecting against their fears - especially their fears of rejection and engulfment. They are so afraid of being disliked, disapproved of, attacked or having demands made on t... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/do-you-isolate-2403919.html 10th January 2012 I used to think that caretaking was the opposite of narcissism. I thought that narcissists were people who demanded that others give themselves up to care-take the narcissist. I thought that caretakers were people who were programmed to take care of other... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/caretaking-a-covert-form-of-narcissism-2400096.html 21st December 2011 Helplessness is a very difficult feeling. It can even feel like life or death to those of us who were left to cry for hours as babies, with no one coming to help us. Because we were so helpless over ourselves as babies and small children, it can trigger f... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/the-challenge-of-accepting-our-helplessness-over-others-2398259.html 13th December 2011 Many years ago, I became aware of feeling anxious much of the time. Since this feeling had been with me as long as I could remember, it had seemed normal - until it stopped being okay with me. It stopped being okay when I went back to school to become a p... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/why-do-we-seek-approval-2393001.html 23rd November 2011  How often have you had the thought, "If you really loved me, you wouldn't... Get angry, yell, curse, call names, say mean, untrue things about meProject your behavior onto meWithdraw, run away, shut down, sit spaced-out in front of the TVResist doing wha... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/if-you-really-loved-me-you-wouldnt-2389225.html 16th November 2011 "I freak out when my husband even looks at another woman. I trust him not to wander, so I don't know why this upsets me so much.""My partner spends too much time with her friends and family. What's the point of being together if she's always gone a couple... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/are-you-or-your-partner-possessive-2387722.html 14th November 2011 What do you usually do when you get stuck with someone and can't communicate?Do you:Try harder to get your point across, talking louder or faster?Get angry, shouting to intimidate the other person into hearing you and/or agreeing with you?Cry in frustrati... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/what-to-do-when-you-cant-communicate-2356197.html 23rd September 2011 "I can't seem to stop snacking," said Linda, in our phone session. "And I can't figure out why. I don't overeat during meals, but then I snack on things that I don't need to be eating. I've had this issue on and off since adolescence and I want to resolve... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/i-feel-trapped-2348800.html 19th September 2011 Have you ever hear yourself say, or said to yourself, "No one appreciates me."I used to say this to myself all the time. I was constantly giving myself up to please others, and then ended up feeling completely unappreciated and resentful - until I learned... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/no-one-appreciates-me-2341752.html 30th August 2011 "He can who thinks he can, and he can't who thinks he can't. This is an indisputable law." - Henry FordHave you ever noticed how often you say, "I can't"?"I can't lose weight.""I can't find my soul mate.""I can't find a job I love.""I can't take care of m... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/i-cant-do-it-2326064.html 04th August 2011 I have learned over my 43 years of counseling that no one heals without a personal connection to a spiritual source of Guidance.William was struggling with issues of shame and depression. He had struggled with feelings of insecurity and jealousy most of h... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/the-law-of-love-2326057.html 04th August 2011 Marty tells me in a phone session,"Susan is always criticizing me. How do I get her to stop?"Fiona tells me in a phone session,"Jeff is often withdrawn. I feel so angry about this."It's always easy to see what your partner is doing that you don't like, bu... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/relationships-attract-at-your-common-level-of-selflove-2291212.html 21st June 2011 When I married my ex-husband in 1963, I was determined to create a stable, loving relationship. I wanted an intact family where we could raise our children and share the joys of our grandchildren.We did raise our children together, but ended the marriage ... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/5-reasons-why-you-might-want-to-end-your-relationship-2273472.html 10th June 2011 Have you ever said to yourself, "The reason God doesn't love me is I don't deserve to be loved?"Have you ever looked inside to discover why you might not be loving to yourself and answered with, "I'm not worthy of love"?I hear this all the time from my cl... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/i-dont-deserve-to-be-loved-2256617.html 31st May 2011 "Everybody is like a magnet. You attract to yourself reflections of that which you are. If you're friendly, then everybody else seems to be friendly too." --Dr. David Hawkins, Physician and LecturerHave you ever noticed how true this is?I would change it ... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/others-treat-us-the-way-we-treat-ourselves-2231546.html 16th May 2011 Have you ever noticed how bad you feel when you try to control things you can't control - such as others and outcomes?Larry consulted with me because he was often miserable - despite running a successful business, and having a lovely wife and two daughter... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/trying-to-control-makes-us-miserable-2207892.html 04th May 2011 Gretchen is typical of many of the clients that I work with. In our first session she said:I've been depressed on and off throughout my life. Medication helped for a while, but now all it does is make me feel more flat and empty. Life seems to have no mea... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/nothing-has-meaning-without-love-and-connection-2195313.html 20th April 2011 Kari and Rudy consulted with me because they kept having conflicts over the same issues over and over - primarily money, chores, and child-rearing. They were nearing the decision to separate, believing that they were incompatible.I asked them to pick one ... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/relationships-do-you-have-the-same-conflicts-over-and-over-2180333.html 12th April 2011 I, like many of you, was brought up and programmed to believe in a number of ideas that have turned out to be untrue. These false beliefs led me to make various life and relationship mistakes. I didn't like making mistakes any more than you do, but it is ... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/are-you-making-these-4-mistakes-2167052.html 05th April 2011 Many of us have heard of the Law of Attraction - that like attracts like. However, many are confused about what this really means.In my experience, like attracts like means that like frequency attracts like frequency. My high frequency attracts the thing... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/the-law-of-attraction--its-about-frequency-2155382.html 31st March 2011 "Perception is a mirror not a fact. And what I look on is my state of mind, reflected outward." - - A Course in MiraclesI remember many years ago seeing the movie "Rashomon" (starring Toshiro Mifune and directed my Akira Kurosawa) where three people saw a... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/do-you-believe-what-you-perceive-2138073.html 23rd March 2011 Are you aware of how you may be hurting your partner?Are you aware of how your partner may be hurting you?Are you aware of the painful feelings of loneliness, heartache and heartbreak you likely feel when you are disconnected from your loved one and unabl... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/are-you-and-your-partner-hurting-each-other-2124219.html 17th March 2011 We are born with the need to touch and be touched, skin-to-skin. If you were not held and touched with love as you were growing up, then this might be a very deep need for you. But even if you were held and touched with love, you still need it today. It i... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/the-need-for-touch-2106987.html 11th March 2011 From the time we are born, we need validation. Loving parents offer consistent validation to their children, validating their feelings, their perceptions, their gifts and talents, their particular form of intelligence, their interests, their kindness, car... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/selfvalidation--how-to-validate-yourself-2090947.html 04th March 2011 "I've finally learned how to lovingly hold my heart when my heart hurts from the pain of disconnection with loved ones," said Meagan in our phone session. "I've discovered that it's possible to feel peaceful even in the midst of loneliness and heartbreak... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/holding-your-heart-through-sadness-and-heartbreak-2078806.html 01st March 2011 Do you believe that being "perfect" gives you control over how people feel about you?"If you do, then you are coming from 3 big false beliefs that are causing you much unhappiness.False Belief #1"I can have control over how people feel about me."Think for... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/if-im-perfect-no-one-will-reject-me--healing-perfectionism-2065265.html 23rd February 2011 Weight loss - such a "big" topic! Every month another book or program is out by another expert on weight loss. Everyone wants to know the secret to losing weight.Weight used to be a major issue for me. Losing weight was never out of my thoughts, and I ... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/five-secrets-to-weight-loss-2046850.html 18th February 2011 If you asked almost any overweight person, "Do you really want to lose weight?" the answer is likely, "Yes, I would love to lose weight."If most overweight and obese people would so love to lose weight that they spend billions a year on trying to lose we... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/do-you-really-want-to-lose-weight-2046848.html 18th February 2011 Do you love it when you feel deeply emotionally connected with someone? When you feel seen, understood, valued and cherished? This is what initially draws two people together and leads to falling in love.Then what happens? Why does the connection go away?... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/relationships-and-emotional-connection-2041472.html 17th February 2011 I grew up with a very angry mother who would attack me out of the blue. As a highly sensitive only child, the fear and heartbreak of being treated so unlovingly was unbearable. So rather than feel the hurt, I numbed it out by learning to stay in my head r... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/when-you-feel-hurt-by-your-partner-2030899.html 14th February 2011 Do you feel unloved? Do you know what would make you feel loved?Ask yourself: Who do you feel loved or unloved by? Your partner? Your parents? Your children? Yourself? God?Feeling Loved or Unloved by Yourself and/or GodWhat does it mean to feel loved or u... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/do-you-feel-loved-or-unloved-2015296.html 08th February 2011 “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbi... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/taking-the-risk-of-loving-2000212.html 01st February 2011 We hear so often, "Don't take it personally." What does this really mean? The answer is NOT simple!Let's say that you are in a great mood, feeling loving and expansive, and someone - either someone close to you or a stranger like a clerk in a store - is w... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/when-should-you-take-it-personally-1979061.html 21st January 2011 Marcus grew up the eldest of three, with a highly critical mother and an absent father. Marcus's mother frequently told him or implied that he was too stupid to take care of himself - that he would be nothing without her. She programmed him to believe tha... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/the-crazymaking-trap-proving-your-worth-over-and-over-1972801.html 20th January 2011 "Seek first to understand and then to be understood." - Stephen CoveyHow often have you heard yourself say:"I just want someone to understand me.""I just want to be heard.""I feel invisible.""I just want to be seen."I know what it feels like to not be und... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/i-just-want-to-be-understood-1949458.html 12th January 2011 "You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do."--Eleanor RooseveltWhy should most people be thinking about you? They are far more concerned with what you are thinking about them to spend time thinking about ... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/what-are-they-thinking-about-me-1941062.html 10th January 2011 "Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair but manifestations of strength and resolution."~Kahlil GibranOver the 42 years that I have been counseling individuals and couples, I have heard countless times:"If I cry in movies people will... http://margaretpaul.articlealley.com/are-kindness-and-tenderness-signs-of-weakness-1920033.html 23rd December 2010