Secrets Of Resolving Conflict—Why Words Alone Won't Work

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<html> <head> <title>Secrets Of Resolving Conflict—Why Words Alone Won't Work</title> </head> <body> <h1>Secrets Of Resolving Conflict—Why Words Alone Won't Work</h1> <div class="info">Author: <a href="http://tristanloo.articlealley.com/">Tristan Loo</a></div><div class="body">When resolving conflict, words alone don't make peace. The secret to resolving conflict with words is <B>SINCERITY.</B> How sincerity is accomplished is by matching your words with your actions, or more specifically, your nonverbal communication. <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <b>"I said I was sorry!!"</b><br /><br /> <br /><br /> How many times have you heard that phrase when you were angry and someone else was trying to calm you down with an "I'm sorry." Unless you believe their words, this phrase just doesn't work. Why not? Well, It doesn't work because its an overused phrase. We say or hear "I'm sorry" on a daily basis. We use it when we bump into someone, or when we make a simple mistake. We're desensitized to "I'm sorry," as just being politeness, rather than sincerity. So when someone truly is angry at you and they hear an "I'm sorry" line or some variation of it—it might not always work and in some cases it might anger them because they might interpret it as, "There… I said the magic words, now shut up and stop complaining." <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <b>Well then what do I say?</b><br /><br /> <br /><br /> Honestly, it's <u>less</u> of a matter of WHAT you say than it is HOW you say it. Any apology really is a good apology, but the other person has to believe that it is genuine otherwise they will just brush it off as a having no real meaning to them. How is sincerity conveyed? Sincerity is created when your nonverbal communication matches your words. Nonverbal communication includes: body position, eye-contact, gestures, voice modulation, and facial expression—to name only a couple. For the purposes of this article we are not going to go into the nitty-gritty of nonverbal linguistics, but its safe to say that the way you say your words along with your body language is often more important than the words themselves. One of the clearest forms of deception is when the words don't match up with the person's body language. If someone tells you that they are interested, yet their body is not pointed towards you, then this is known as inconsistency. To express genuine emotions, you must make sure that your nonverbal communication is in synch with that of your verbal words. Know that the other person is looking for empathy on your part more than a reason. They also seek some form of acknowledgement from you. They want to have both auditory and visual confirmation that you are telling them the truth because their fears will lead them always to be suspicious of any verbal offering that you give them when they are feeling hurt. When in doubt, just remember this adage: "Mean what you say, don't just say what you mean."<br /><br /> <br /></div> <div class="source">Article Source: <a href="http://www.articlealley.com/http://tristanloo.articlealley.com/secrets-of-resolving-conflictwhy-words-alone-wont-work-13051.html">http://www.articlealley.com/http://tristanloo.articlealley.com/secrets-of-resolving-conflictwhy-words-alone-wont-work-13051.html</a></div> <div class="author"> <div class="authorOccupation"><strong>Occupation:</strong> Personal Coach / Consultant</div> <div class="authorBio">Tristan J. Loo is the founder of Alternative Conflict Resolution services based in San Diego County, California. Loo is a former police officer, turned Management Consultant / Personal Coach, and author of Street Negotiation--How To Resolve Any Conflict Anytime. Visit Tristan's Website at <b> http://www.acrsonline.com </b> Contact Loo at tristan@acrsonline.com</div> <div class="authorUrl"><a href="http://www.acrsonline.com" target="_blank">http://www.acrsonline.com</a></div></author> </body> </html>

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Secrets Of Resolving Conflict—Why Words Alone Won't Work Author: Tristan Loo When resolving conflict, words alone don't make peace. The secret to resolving conflict with words is SINCERITY. How sincerity is accomplished is by matching your words with your actions, or more specifically, your nonverbal communication. "I said I was sorry!!" How many times have you heard that phrase when you were angry and someone else was trying to calm you down with an "I'm sorry." Unless you believe their words, this phrase just doesn't work. Why not? Well, It doesn't work because its an overused phrase. We say or hear "I'm sorry" on a daily basis. We use it when we bump into someone, or when we make a simple mistake. We're desensitized to "I'm sorry," as just being politeness, rather than sincerity. So when someone truly is angry at you and they hear an "I'm sorry" line or some variation of it—it might not always work and in some cases it might anger them because they might interpret it as, "There… I said the magic words, now shut up and stop complaining." Well then what do I say? Honestly, it's less of a matter of WHAT you say than it is HOW you say it. Any apology really is a good apology, but the other person has to believe that it is genuine otherwise they will just brush it off as a having no real meaning to them. How is sincerity conveyed? Sincerity is created when your nonverbal communication matches your words. Nonverbal communication includes: body position, eye-contact, gestures, voice modulation, and facial expression—to name only a couple. For the purposes of this article we are not going to go into the nitty-gritty of nonverbal linguistics, but its safe to say that the way you say your words along with your body language is often more important than the words themselves. One of the clearest forms of deception is when the words don't match up with the person's body language. If someone tells you that they are interested, yet their body is not pointed towards you, then this is known as inconsistency. To express genuine emotions, you must make sure that your nonverbal communication is in synch with that of your verbal words. Know that the other person is looking for empathy on your part more than a reason. They also seek some form of acknowledgement from you. They want to have both auditory and visual confirmation that you are telling them the truth because their fears will lead them always to be suspicious of any verbal offering that you give them when they are feeling hurt. When in doubt, just remember this adage: "Mean what you say, don't just say what you mean." Article Source: http://www.articlealley.com/http://tristanloo.articlealley.com/secrets-of-resolving-conflictwhy-words-alone-wont-work-13051.html About the Author: Tristan J. Loo is the founder of Alternative Conflict Resolution services based in San Diego County, California. Loo is a former police officer, turned Management Consultant / Personal Coach, and author of Street Negotiation--How To Resolve Any Conflict Anytime. Visit Tristan's Website at <b> http://www.acrsonline.com </b> Contact Loo at tristan@acrsonline.com http://www.acrsonline.com

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by Tristan Loo
Tristan J. Loo is the founder of Alternative Conflict Resolution services based in San Diego County, California. Loo is a former police officer, turned Management Consultant / Personal Coach, and author of Street Negotiation--How To Resolve Any Conflict Anytime. Visit Tristan's Website at http://www.acrsonline.com Contact Loo at tristan@acrsonline.com
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Secrets Of Resolving Conflict—Why Words Alone Won't Work

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