How to Get Your Ex Back, Mindless Advice From a Loser!

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Published: 17th June 2015
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How to get your ex back? What a question to be chucking out there, a bit of confusion in your usual order of things Meaning home life is in no way what it ought to be for you right now. I feel what your going through, sure as hell blows right? At least that's how I felt when I was booted out and it was all finalized, a nice smack of reality. Yeah there were obstacles but isn't that how all relationship ends up after many years together?
The wright wrong dispute was a daily routine at home. I thought happiness and joy may be feasible, but why was it up to me to make that a reality She started the quarrels, she had the issue. Always putting an emphasis on my faults ignoring her own. Sure she threatened to move out on a number of occasions, her precise words being "your wilting flower is going to die if you don't give it water" I guess I was just along for the trip, figuring the good days were long long gone, hell I was just use to all the fighting. It goes without saying I never took her threats very seriously, after that many years with each other she wasn't going to leave. I couldn't have been more mistaken. Incorrect about how I dealt with every situation, wrong about her threats.

I keep beating myself up over this whole thing. To keep my mind from racing I have slowly and gradually been devouring any articles, video clips, and forums regarding relationships. Trying to figure out what went wrong, what led to the final result. Along the way I have figured out a few things, better late than never I guess. Rather than putting the fault on my spouse, I have learned that I had the ability to act and respond proactively. Years of the same thought process, "If she would just change… if she would just do this or do that etc., than everything would be fine." The attention should have been about me getting control of myself in the relationship, avoiding placing the blame on her. This is not about taking it all on myself and making the entire relationship my responsibility while at the same time expecting her to change.

I'm talking about really bringing myself to the relationship. Of all the vast amount of couple's material I have analyzed one question has been apparent. What do I really want out of the relationship? This is what I mean by the term bring myself. I am discovering the more I bring myself to the relationship the more the relationship is a true expression of who I really am. Bring what I am thinking, what I desire, and what I feel to the partnership, be genuine and authentic. "Why is she acting like such a pain" "How come she is acting like? " These being daily thoughts for me, believe me. I would either be biting on my tongue for fear of fighting, or begin the back and forth, whose wright and whose wrong debate. Had I actually owned what I thought, let my partner know what I was thinking. For instance, "I want us to be polite to each other" "I want you to treat me nice. " With everyone in a highly emotional state it doesn't sound like it will work, and maybe at first it will not. What if it just furthers their agitation, don't be worried to speak up. The entire relationship dynamic will transform.

I am discovering we couples have no inkling how to correctly interact with each other even though the answer is just to be genuine to ourselves. Like I said previously I am not talking about taking this all on your own, a partnership should be a partnership. But more than likely one of the partners has to be genuine to themselves in order for their partner to jump on board and let the relationship advance organically. The sub-conscious way of thinking "this is just how it is or this is just the way things are" has to stop. To speak it and own it is colossal. We may be placed in a vulnerable state if we go for what we want but we either take the risk or play it risk-free and carry on the cycle. When we speak what we want, it's a true way to bring our presence to the relationship. Keep in mind there is no wright and wrong, this needs to be avoided. We have to get in the habit of saying "this is what I feel, this is what I want, this is what I need" and equally vital asking what they want, what they need, what they feel.

We will never resolve the whose wright whose wrong disputes; we each have to work together in order to feel great in each others company. Realize what it is we actually want. We bring our truth and our spouse brings theirs. This offers us and our partner the ability to start from the position of being right, there is no wrong. Having the understanding of what each of us actually needs is critical. We can develop the relationship to ourselves not develop ourselves to our relationship if we can be honest to who we truly are. Relationships are growing, ever changing things so by responding differently to challenging situations, the relationship itself will react. Be straightforward to ourselves and our spouse, keeping in mind to sustain consideration throughout.

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